Update from the front lines

2008 October 4
by Hedon

I don’t know why big-stinky-feet-mom was doing all that yelling at the little man with the gun but I barked at him, too. I thought maybe he was playing with the toilet paper or had peed on his living room carpet. I don’t know what “cocky little prick minimum-wage barney fife” means, but I’m sure that ”god-damned little bastard” means there was peeing on some carpet somewhere by somebody. And it wasn’t me! Woo Hooo! I never did wag my tail at the little man outside cause he was obviously an ass of some sort. I had to lick stinky-feet-mom on the arm a lot to calm her down after we moved the big loud house cause she would keep muttering things under her breath for a long time. Then she finally fell asleep again.

I’ve had a great time lately. I was out of the truck ALL DAY the last couple days. It was all hot and I got to lay around in the sun then the big-stinky-feet-mom would pour cold water on me and rub it in so it was all cold and made me shiver. Then nice-mom-with-good-fingernails would scratch me real hard.

And there were like 30 big smelly men that came by and they would pet me. They like my ears. Those men always ask me if the moms “hunt me” for the rabbits. I’m not sure what that means, but I think its when we are at the really big house that doesn’t move and big-stinky-feet-mom runs after me down the hall saying she’s gonna get my belly. And I bark and run off down the hall then I have to stop after a few feet cause big-stinky-feet-mom doesn’t exactly move very fast and she would never get my belly if I didn’t slow down for her.

I’m running around right now cause we’re in a new big house that doesn’t move. It’s not our usual big house though cause it doesn’t have my toys in it and I can’t find that bone I hid behind nice-mom’s big chair. Also, there are TONS of really really cool smells here. I don’t know what they are, but wow there are lots of them. The moms don’t seem to appreciate all the smells though. I sniffed the big bed blanket thing for a very very long time to show the moms how interesting it was but stinky-feet-mom just wadded it up and shoved it up on the tv dresser thing. I wanted to go under the bed to explore but the moms seem to think there are scary things under there that will get me. I think the scary things are right outside that window so I have to keep watching it all the time.

Oh that guy who shows up with the pizza food is here again. I wonder if I should tell stinky-feet-mom that I hid her little black money thing behind the little frig so it would be safe?

One Response
  1. 2008 October 8
    Belledog permalink

    Maggie: enjoy your posts. Writing this one for Bingo and Tippy, also beagles who love road trips, who are glad someone has finally given a beagle a blog!

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