Hags’ reading level
I was out surfing earlier and saw that Chat Blanc over at Wit’s Bitch and Kirsten at The Soccer Mom Files had both taken this Blog Readability Test to see “what level of education is required to understand your blog” as the testing site describes it. They both did really well.
You probably don’t know this about me yet, but I can’t pass up a quiz. Doesn’t matter what it is I must take the quiz. I even take stupid “Cosmo” quizzes about things like “Are you keeping your man happy?” when I quite obviously do not have a man to please or piss off as the case may be. In those situations I am occasionally forced to cheat just a little. But this was a quiz on education! I love education. How exciting!
So I took Hags over there to see if any of you were educated enough to understand the wisdom that often uncontrollably spurts out of my mouth. I entered the addy in the little form, clicked the button, and…
WTF? Elementary School?!
Are you kidding me? Elementary school level? You realize that means every single one of you out there is far too hideously over-educated to be hanging out here. I guess we should be going after the younger readers. Oh yeah I can see it now… lovable pig-tailed third grader, little Becky, is happily web surfing on her Hello Kitty Laptop and next thing you know it’s all like, “Moooommmm, what’s a Conga Line of Haitian Man-Whores?”
Elementary school, indeed! We are going to have to work on this problem immediately, people. To combat our pathetically low score, I am going to start stuffing posts chock full of really super extra big words that may or may not fit the theme of the post. Prepare yourself. Here we go…
Damn… can’t think of any big words at all… maybe Stace has some… hang on I’ll be right back…
Excellent, all that fancy education wasn’t wasted after all. Stace has lots: “Onomatopoeia. Parliamentarian. Pernicious. Uhhhh… I need context. I need setting. Why are you typing that in? Stop that. I said stop it, damn it. Shit… supercalafragalisticexpalidoschus. Quit typing everything I say. Exegesis… I think that’s a word. Do not type that in or I will kill you. I’m not joking. Verisimilitude… sigh… Ugh, I’m bored now. Go look in the dictionary.”
Fine. It’s up to me to… I know there’s a word for this… waving arms around at Stace… what’s that word that means lifting the quality of something… oh yeah – enrich. It’s up to me to enrich this site on my own then. Here we go. Culpability. Oxymoron. Lugubrious. Salacious. Ugh… this is hard. And pretty boring. Screw them I’m going to go play Tetris.
That thing is seriously messed up. Since your humor is one of the most outstanding parts of your blog I’m thinking that your wit and humor just don’t translate. But, that said, those words you typed in at the end of this post ought to boost your rating, no?
Well, maybe Elementary is the new Genius, because I also rated at that level also. But you know who else was there? Stephen Hawking – http://www.hawking.org.uk
He’s been touted as one of the smartest people in the world – a GENIUS, if you will. So I’d say we’re in good company.
CAPTCHA: Baldy Breadwinners
Decorina,
Thanks for the encouragement… Little Miss Smarty-Pants Genius Girl!! That’s right! We ran your blog through it yesterday — we know what you are — you can’t hide your super mega-sized genius brains from us.
Salena,
You and Stephen Hawking aren’t bad company at all. I always wondered what it would be like to be married to Hawking. I wonder if he starts to say something like “pass the peas” and ends up blathering on for 15 minutes about crap his wife can’t begin to understand? That would get irritating after a while.
Oh, I often start to say “pass the peas” and end up blathering on for 15 minutes, but at least Stace can understand what the hell I’m saying.
CAPTHCHA: proves not (a thing)
OMG!
Now that I think about it… what would Stephen Hawking be doing saying “pass the peas” anyway? I mean what is he going to do with them?
Yeah, elementary must be the new genius. That thing is just bizaare. Probably designed just to make bloggers crazy.
damn, youse got ROBBED on that rating! but, on the positive side of things–thanks for the linky lurve!
Chat,
You’re quite welcome, Ms Smarty-Pants.