Ethics 101
Do you ever think about Ethics? Not like “should I or should I not steal this pen from work” ethics but those abstract ethical questions that people have argued for centuries. The kind of abstract questions that get people all fired up and calling each other names over some fictitious situation. That’s good stuff.
Here’s a famous one:
Is it ok to steal?
No.
Is it ok to steal a loaf of bread if your family is starving?
Hell yeah!
Is it ok to steal a loaf of bread if your family is starving but they’re only starving because you’re too damn lazy to go out and get a job to support them?
Hmmm… back to “No” I guess.
Is it ok to steal a loaf of bread if your family is starving but they’re only starving because you’re too damn lazy to go out and get a job to support them but really it’s not that you’re lazy it’s just that the only job available in your town is working with Patty the Day-time Hooker and you just don’t feel right wearing fish-net stockings and doing the nasty with total strangers?
Uhhh… so is it ok to steal rather than become a whore? Is that the question? I guess so…
Is it ok to steal a loaf of bread if your family is starving but they’re only starving because you’re too damn lazy to go out and get a job to support them but really it’s not that you’re lazy it’s just that the only job available in your town is working with Patty the Day-time Hooker and you just don’t feel right wearing fish-net stockings and doing the nasty with total strangers but the thing your family doesn’t know is that you have quite a bit of cash buried in the backyard under the second biggest elm tree?
Wait… you have cash buried under a tree? Then it’s not okay to steal the bread. Dig up the cash and feed your family, Dumb-ass.
Is it ok to steal a loaf of bread if your family is starving but they’re only starving because you’re too damn lazy to go out and get a job to support them but really it’s not that you’re lazy it’s just that the only job available in your town is working with Patty the Day-time Hooker and you just don’t feel right wearing fish-net stockings and doing the nasty with total strangers but the thing your family doesn’t know is that you have quite a bit of cash buried in the backyard under the second biggest elm tree because you’ve been saving every penny so you will have enough cash to leave town with your accordion-playing boyfriend, Fernando, if he gets his big break and heads off to Broadway?
Who the hell is Fernando? Is he the one starving?
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Anyway, that’s how it works. I was thinking of another situation that often comes up in the Ethics game but it’s a serious one that involves neither day-time hookers nor starving accordion-playing boyfriends. Many of you will recognize it from the last episode of M*A*S*H where it was portrayed beautifully. For those who didn’t catch it, I’ll give you the set-up although in a far less memorable manner:
Ok… It’s a war zone and you and a whole bus-load of other villagers have accidentally driven behind enemy lines. Realizing the mistake, the driver squeezes the bus into a very thick part of the jungle, shuts the bus off, and radios for help. You all hunker down waiting for help to arrive but it will take hours for help to reach you. There are enemy patrols in the area so you all must be as quiet as possible because if you are spotted by the enemy you will all be killed. Suddenly your baby starts to cry. You do literally everything you can think of to shut Junior up but nothing is working. The other passengers on the bus are becoming frantic because they know that Junior’s crying is going to give your position away to the enemy patrols.
What do you do?
>> As painlessly as possible cover Junior’s face with a pillow — the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one
>> Screw that — I can’t do that to my baby so we’ll all just have to take our chances, won’t we?
>> Eureka! My huge over-developed brain has conjured an entirely different solution which is…
>> I would just go all Ninja on the enemy patrol’s ass and none of this would be a problem
>> Why am I on the bus again? Where was I going in the first place? Is that important?
It’s a classic, huh?
So Non-Haggy-types out there… what do you think?
Ethics question: are you an irredeemably horrible person if, in response to a blogger’s thoughtful post, you throw up the first comment, being:
hey, look at this! A Trucker’s Lounge/skunk-themed bar for hipsters in Silver Lake area of Los Angeles.
http://www.latimes.com/theguide/bars-and-clubs/la-et-night14-2008nov14,0,2735352.story
Stinkers
2939 W. Sunset Blvd., L.A.
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Good to see you 3 are out on the road again. Safe travels.
Did you by chance catch TVLand’s MASH marathon last night? They were planning to air the final episode; I fell asleep…
First: as to whether that person would be irredeemably horrible… well it depends. It depends mainly on whether or not they have a big old wad of cash hidden in the back yard while letting their accordion-playing boyfriend or somebody else starve. Or maybe it’s just based on whether they enjoy stealing — I can’t remember.
Second: That bar is a hoot! I especially like the skunk spray when the bartender pulls the air-horn.
Third: Nope on the MASH marathon — we don’t have tv in the truck. But we do have Tetris so it’s not all bad.
“Screw that”. I couldn’t kill a baby. And trust me, with my luck, they’d find us no matter what (Murphy’s Law you know)
Here’s One: You go to the store. A young, dumb clerk gives you back your change, but instead of a $5, gives you a 50 dollar bill.
You’re broke.
Do you keep the $$, knowing it will probably come out of her young, dumb paycheck?
(btw, I’ve had similar things happen and have gone with both outcomes. But I do feel Karma has a way of kicking my ass, so I tend to point out her mistake)
I couldn’t kill the baby either. I’d try to do it, because I feel that’s the right thing to do, but I don’t think I could go through with it.
As for the stupid clerk, I always point out the mistakes. However, of late, the snippy little whippersnappers have become so rude that they don’t even thank you for saving their sorry butts some money, and act like you’ve insulted them by pointing out they made an error which only affects them. A few more of these bitches and I’m going to reconsider my ethical stance on this one.
Hmmm….hard to say….I do hate kids….
Seriously though – not enough to kill one.
I’d probably leave everyone on the bus and go hide in the jungle myself. This way, if the enemies DID come across the bus, I wouldn’t be there.
Alright – so this is kind of a tough one.
As for the wrong change thing – really depends on the attitude of the cashier. Like Stace said, one snotty remark could make it go in my favor. It’s almost like karma in a way.
Although, if they are stupid enough to give out the wrong change, chances are they aren’t going to “get” the lesson of treating people nicer and you’ll get it back in return.
Whoosh! Over their heads.
I love it, Salena! You ended up picking “My huge over-developed brain has conjured an entirely different solution which is…” and actually giving a viable alternative. I didn’t think there was one. Sweet!
My response to that question has always been that I would hope I would be strong enough to do the right thing and off the screaming kid… but I probably wouldn’t be able to do it.
I have caught a lot of flack for that answer over the years by people who seem to think I just get to Jonesing every once in a while to do in a baby. I always try to explain that we aren’t talking about something like an airplane trip or a Greyhound bus ride where a screaming kid is annoying — we are talking about knowingly putting the lives of a whole bus-load of people at risk if the kid gives their postion away.
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As for the stupid clerks, well my position has changed over the years. I used to always point it out, but the older I get the less interested I am in cleaning up after some snot-nosed punk who obviously thinks I should already be on the ice and floating out to sea instead of bothering her with math and logic.
Now days I tend to just take it and send the extra to Aruni (my CCF kid) or make a mental note to drop it in a salvation army bucket or something. As long as I don’t keep it so The Universe and I stay on good terms, I don’t feel a bit bad depriving the punk.
Now if it’s a polite but slow kid I will hand it back immediately. I guess my response is more what the scholars call “situational ethics” on this one.