Truckin Cribs part three

2008 December 22

Today we’re heading back into the living quarters of the truck… things are apt to get much more messy but also more interesting I guess. We do try to keep the truck pretty clean cause it’s such a small space that there’s no living in it if you let it get too messy. The problem is that even something as small as a pair of socks on the floor makes the whole truck look like a pig-sty… or so I’ve been told. :)

Area immediately behind the passenger seat

Space immediately behind the passenger seat

Space immediately behind the passenger seat

1.  Hoard of Stace’s favorite type of ink pen. You can never have too many ink pens in trucking.

2.  Convenient trash bag that is easily reached while driving.

3.  Maggie’s favorite area in the truck.

4.  An Under-the-bed-storage thing with ~22 cartons of extremely cheap Indian cigarettes. And “No Sir, we’re really not boot-legging cigarettes. If people want cheap Indian cigarettes, let them go to New Mexico and get them just like we have to do. These are for personal use only.”

5.  Food and snacks. (obviously)

6.  Crap.

7.  More crap. Actually the boxes hold things that you almost never need to get into, but that you should have on the road with you. The top one has things like extra ear plugs, deoderant, breathe rights, batteries, lighters, etc. The bottom one, which is harder to get into, has things like antibiotic cream, Icy Hot, etc. Also, there is space behind the three boxes for some of Maggie’s extra potty pads, toilet paper, and paper towels.

8.  Porta-potty. Evil but neccessary. This cabinet had a door on it when we got the truck, but it was irritating so I took it off and stored it under the bunk.

9.  Edge of Hedon’s bunk with Hedon’s favorite comforter on it.

Middle section of passenger side cabinets

Middle section of passenger side cabinets

Middle Section of Passenger Side Cabinet

1.  Privacy curtain that you can pull to separate the bunk and the cab. We also have another curtain that you hang against the windshield and side windows for more room but you still have privacy. That’s usually the one we use when we’re shut down cause it’s less claustrophobic than the center curtain, but the center curtain is almost always pulled if one of us is trying to sleep while rolling.

2.  Closed upper cabinet.

3.  Baby and Junior

4.  “Pristine Piece of God”

(2,3 & 4 aka Dell XPS M170, Dell Inspiron Something or Other, and Apple MacBook Pro… aka 15% of our net worth :) )

5. Step #3 in “Fat Old Lady Climbs onto Upper Bunk Acrobatics” which will be illustrated in more detail in a later section.

Top cabinet behind passenger seat

Top cabinet behind passenger seat

Top cabinet in space immediately behind passenger seat

This cabinet holds the shower bag and part of a week’s worth of Hedon’s clothes. We would have a lot more room in the truck if we didn’t roll out of home with a month’s worth of clean clothes. But honestly have you ever done laundry at a laundry mat? Well doing it at a truck stop is way worse. You know how one of the upsides to actually dragging all your clothes to a laundry mat is that at least you get to finish them all at once cause there are lots of machines? Well not at a truck stop cause there is almost never more than one washer and dryer working at a time. And the one that is working is almost always filthy. And the dryers don’t work worth a crap so if you’re dealing with jeans big enough to fit on my big old massive ass you could be talking about three hours to dry one load of clothes. Oh… and you can’t leave your clothes alone for one minute or they will end up on the floor of the laundry room which is even more filthy than the washer. Seriously, I once watched a guy drag clothes out of a washer that was still washing, throw them on the floor and put his own clothes in the washer. Sigh.

Area immediately behind the driver’s seat

Cabinet bottom behind driver's seat

Cabinet bottom behind driver's seat

1.  Stace’s “Lady Bag” which I am only allowed into to get the finger-nail clippers and then only if I put them back the instant I’m done with them. Not sure what else is in there but I think I’ve noticed cotton balls, some little square pieces of cotton, a tiny bottle of alcohol, a little tube of vaseline, and a couple other little tubes of something or other.

2.  The Maggie Box. About a two week supply of Maggie’s food, treats and her toe-nail trimmer thing.

3.  Hoard of Hedon’s favorite kind of ink pen. Hedon’s ink pens are vastly superior to Stace’s wussy ink pens.

4.  Hedon’s glasses case… Hedon’s glasses… don’t leave the bunk without them… mostly cause you couldn’t find the driver’s seat if you did.

Same Cabinet with drawer and door open

Same Cabinet with drawer and door open

5.  Drawer that pulls out into a kind of table surface.

6.  Step #2 in “Fat Old Lady Climbs onto Upper Bunk Acrobatics” which really will be illustrated in more detail in a later section.

7.  Cabinet that holds toilet paper, tons of packages of handi wipes, water, cleaning stuff, and this one can of Oust that is apparently never-ending. We have been trying to empty that can for months but it just keeps on spraying. You can’t even hear anything anymore when you shake it but it just keeps spraying. We’re really ready for a different scent but I guess we’ll just use this one can forever because I’ll be damned if the Oust can is going to win this battle.

8.  Under the bed storage box with a couple of Hedon’s jeans and a shirt or two. Yes, my jeans really are so big that about three of them fill up the box.

9.  Permit book and other TWMNBN paperwork.

10. Many menus from various restaurants around the country.

Top cabinet in space immediately behind driver’s seat

Top cabinet behind driver

Top cabinet behind driver

1.  Maggie’s “Woo Hoo! We’re going to go play outside bag” which contains: an extra long and very exciting play leash that is about 50 feet long, a vinyl table cloth for the human to sit on and thereby hopefully avoid a repeat of the unfortunate South-Carolina-OMG-I’m-sitting-on-a-mountain-of-fire-ants incident, and some really nice cigars which Hedon is not allowed to smoke in the truck under penalty of death.

2.  Maggie’s drawer. Medicine, spare leashes/collar, a few new toys for when she gets bored, two sweat-shirts that make her look ridiculous, and her winter coat for going outside in Wyoming and such. She does love to play in the snow.

3.  Hedon’s socks.

4.  Food.

5.  More food. Also paper plates, silverware, condiments, steak sauces, mustard, mayo packets, salt and pepper, etc.

I forgot to give it an arrow, but if you look on the cabinet frame just to the left of Hedon’s socks you will see one of the velcro pieces that holds this door shut. We hadn’t had the truck 36 hours before the flimsy plastic cabinet latch broke. I ask you… who makes cabinet latches for a big truck out of plastic?

Well, that’s about it for the space immediately behind the seats. Next time, we’ll look at the actual bunk area and we will probably have that artist’s rendition of Stace’s path to the upper bunk, too… since she absolutely refuses to enact it for the camera. :)

10 Responses
  1. 2008 December 22
    Belledog permalink

    This is so fascinating. Thanks. Notice Maggie gets lots of wet food and has a wardrobe. AND she’s chosen two humans who sleep in shifts — think about that — most dogs would choose owners with shift work if they could. I mean, dogs sleep about 20 hours a day, unless they’re following you from room to room, monitoring your movements. More time in bed, with a human to protect (the dog).

    Definitely no room for a mouse in that truck!

    Happy and safe holiday week! Ho ho ho.

  2. 2008 December 22

    Great job. I’m enjoying the tour. It reminds me of a cool tree house without the wheels.

    I was trying to figure out what you might use for containers in those little compartments… big zip lock bags, the thick freezer kind, aren’t very glamorous but would work. Cheap plastic food containers with or without the lids could be holders for the bigger cubbyholes. If you know anyone who can sew, mesh draw string bags might work too. OK that’s the end to this thought process. Have a great Christmas and New Year.


  3. 2008 December 22

    If it didn’t include all of that driving and boobery, I would get one!

  4. 2008 December 23

    This speaks to my inner organizational-freak. Can you just work on the back of my mini-van?

  5. 2008 December 24

    Oh my ladies/hags, I’m new here and catching up. First, love the intel on the inner sanctum. After realizing you have a dog, I’m relieved since I thought the pee pee pads were for you and I’m thinking, jeez a diet coke or two and it would take more than a pee pee pad for me. Thanks for new reads and an unusual peek into the highway hags.

  6. 2008 December 24


    Maggie does indeed have a wardrobe, but she doesn’t much like it most of the time. I think my favorite is the bright orange sweater that makes her look like the giant pumpkin. :)

    Never thought about her naturally sleeping most of the day, but that’s exactly what she does. If we are running a tight load and driving around the clock she just wakes up for a few minutes when we change shifts and then snuggles in with the next person and goes back to sleep.

    L and MongolianGirl,

    Yeah I think the truck kicks ass, too. If you think our truck is cool you should see some of the “large cars” out here. Some of them have bathrooms complete with showers and little mini kitchens complete with cook surface type stoves. Must be tough. :)


    You so do not want me arranging your minivan. That would be Stace’s department. In our old truck there was so much room that I arranged things cause it didn’t matter anyway, but in this truck every square inch is at a premium so Stace did most of the planning. She is extremely good at arranging things.

    Hi Chris!

    Welcome! I wish it could be so easy as potty pads for everybody. That would be so much better on the disposal front, but as you guessed… well… that wouldn’t work out at all. :)

    Glad you’re liking the truck tour. Even after all this time I still think trucks are pretty cool.

    Oh, and keep your hands off Mr. Salam Jafer — he is all mine! I’m pretty sure in his latest email, he said he was going to adopt me.

  7. 2008 December 26

    I am married to Salam Jafer. We really need someone to help us with this deal you know! Any takers? Any?

    No? Fuck you.

    I love the cribs tour through your truck. Very nice.

  8. 2008 December 27


    If you are married to Salam and he is going to adopt me… does that mean I can call you mom?

  9. 2008 December 31

    “3. Hoard of Hedon’s favorite kind of ink pen. Hedon’s ink pens are vastly superior to Stace’s wussy ink pens.”

    Oh my gosh I literally busted out laughing when I read that!! Thanks for much for the tour, I’m loving it so far! It’s funny, for how many trucks I’m around every day, I’ve never actually been inside one!

  10. 2009 January 1

    Hi Jennifer,

    I hate to say it but… my pens really are so much better than hers. Her pens write in this really fine restrained little flow of ink. Mine give you this really dark flashy line so that it looks like you wrote something when you’re done by god. I guess it stands to reason that we both like the ones we like. :)

    Glad you’re liking the tour. I’ve been driving seven years now and sometimes I still look around the truck and think about how cool they can be.

    You should definitely bum a ride with someone if you get the chance — they are way more fun when moving cause the tops of most cars only come up about even with your feet.

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