Mistrial Declared
Hedon says:
Here’s how we do a SheSaid/SheSaid case:
One of us will say something to the effect of, “Well that’s going to have to go to SheSaid/SheSaid then, Missy.” This starts the whole process of which your vote is the final step. Now the rule is that whoever is bringing the case has to write the introduction, set-up and plaintiff’s argument then bluetooth the whole thing over to the other person so they can write their defense. Once both sides are written the completed post goes up on the site and y’all can vote as you see fit. It’s really a pretty easy system.
Well I say that… then I wake up this afternoon to finish up the Trucking Cribs tour and find that somehow I have posted my half of the case without waiting for Stace’s defense. Seriously?! What the hell? From what I can tell after I wrote my part I must have scheduled it to post at “some distant point” like 12/29/2009 only less with the 2009 and more with the 2008.
So now we have a situation here. Stace says she had a really good argument against my position. I find that kinda hard to believe, but I guess it’s possible. It doesn’t really matter though since my retarded boobery means that the post went up without her getting a chance to have her say.
Also, I was looking through the votes and I have to say that I’m kinda surprised to see that not very many of you all seem to be onboard with my vision of a brighter future for us all. Looks like Stace would have won her case after all… which makes it even more of a damned shame that we are going to have to declare this whole case a mistrial. Yup… that’s a damned shame. I feel bad for her.
Stace says:
Well, here’s basically what I was going to say, before the premature posting occurred.
I am more than willing to share whatever I might know with Hedon, and I know that she feels the same. We regularly ask each other for help when writing posts, or whatever, and can’t come up with a name or some such. The older we become, the more often this sort of thing happens. Just the other day, I couldn’t remember Angelina Jolie’s name, for crying out loud. All I could think of was, “that big lipped woman with all the babies and Brad Pitt, who used to be married to that Billy Bob guy.” Hedon saved the day and remembered her name. So, it’s clear that I am a firm believer in sharing info.
In fact, when Hedon was writing her argument against me, she more than once asked me how to spell a word, and I obliged. She even asked me who wrote “Catch-22,” and I told her. Surely, that I helped her even when she was creating an argument against me, proves that I am not unwilling to share.
That said, the rest of my side of this thing is simple. Hedon is not actually concerned about intellectual property as part of community property. All of this is just a fancy-pants way of trying to cheat.
You see, she only wants to count the books I have read because that’s the only way she can win the invented competition regarding which of us has read the most books on the “1000 Books to Read Before You Die” list. I can guarantee you that if this were a list of “1000 things You Should Know About the Civil War,” we wouldn’t be having this trial; she would win easily.
Don’t let her distract you with all this “boo-hoo I help her with crosswords and she won’t let me count the books she’s read” malarkey. Pure nonsense.
Also, I may have talked about some of these books with her, but not all of them, and not at real length on any. Let’s use the book she chose, “Catch-22,” as an example. I asked her a few questions about that novel.
Stace: Can you name some of the characters in “Catch-22″?
Hedon: Major Major.
Stace: Any others?
Hedon: No.
Stace: Is Major Major the protagonist?
Hedon: Uh, I don’t think so.
Stace: Who is the protagonist? And if you can’t remember his name, that’s okay. Can you remember anything about him?
Hedon: Uh, it’s during the war. He’s in a war.
Stace: What does he do in the war?
Hedon: Uh … uh … a cook?
Stace: Nope.
Hedon: Uh … uh … laundry?
Stace: Nope.
Hedon: Uh … uh … bombs?
Stace: No. Enough. Okay, try this. There’s a particularly surprising scene in the novel. Impossible to forget. What was it?
Hedon: Uh … hmm … uh … all the penguins regained the power of flight?
Stace: Pathetic. That’s enough.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you: should someone who doesn’t even know what Yosarian did in the war be allowed to count that book as one she has read? I think not.
She simply wants to win this particular invented competition, and has no scruples about cheating to do it.
Okay, that’s the gist of what I was going to say before Hedon accidentally posted the thing early. Before I go, though, I would like to add one thing. Notice that she has declared this whole thing a mistrial. That’s because she was LOSING. Umm-hmm. Cheater.
I thank you for your consideration. And I also think you look nice.
I’m not gonna lie, I was having a CRAP day. But once again, you two made me laugh. I can’t even choose a side because you both made me giggle. Thank you!!
Penguins regained the power of flight? I didn’t read THAT part!!! Must go read again…
Apologies to Hedon, but I think Stace has got a pretty good lock on this particular argument.
Now I have to scroll up and read Hedon’s rebuttal.
Okay.. have read the whole thing now (duh, this was all one post).
Mistrial, huh? Well, since it’s intellectual property – perhaps dinner should be riding on this. Not money or jail time. But if it’s a mistrial, does that mean you have to buy each other dinner?
Hmmmm…I just realized something else…
IF Hedon “was” able to count all of the books Stace read through the shared intellectual property, then logically Stace could also count all of the books that Hedon read, which would mean it would be a tie on their book list. My suggestion would be to no longer compete, but see if you can share the list together. It can be the list of books you read together before you die. That way you really only have to do half the amount of work. This would be how I made it through most of high school, only I found two people to each do 50% of the work for me.
As another aside…if Hedon had to ask Stace how to spell Catch-22, yeah, then it DEFINITELY doesn’t count.
Just my 3rd & 4th cents (added to my 2 cents earlier).
Okay, the very last line of this post? I laughed so hard I think something flew out of my nose. (ewe)
I actually STILL take the stance I did in my original post…if a book is discussed (one reading, one listening…or it being explained to) then I think it counts…IF (IF IF IF) that person is LISTENING and absorbing what is being said. lol.
Now Hedon ‘failed’ to mention (a-hem)in the first post that she wasn’t ‘paying attention’ (bad hedon). I was under the distinct impression that Hedon was absorbing everything from the conversation about that book.
Obviously if someone cannot remember the whole gist of the story…like main characters and plots and such, I don’t think ‘said person’ actually had her listening ears on.
My response still stands. It counts if the other person is absorbing/listening. But (finger wag) Hedon probably was not.
So. I say it does NOT count. (bang the gavel) Next case?
I say I won. Why? ‘Cause I am so not going to settle something between a couple who has been together for something like 17 years. That always ends with the couple being mad at me.
Wonderful way to end my day – and, I think you look nice too – lol!
Happy New Year!
Stace said: I can guarantee you that if this were a list of “1000 things You Should Know About the Civil War,” we wouldn’t be having this trial; she would win easily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dude! That is a seriously good point! Too bad it can’t really help you since the whole case got thrown out. Damn shame that.
1000 things you should know about the civil war… how fun! Let’s do that list later, okay?
My Captcha: well-ordered Grant
First fun civil war fact… General Grant was anything but well-ordered.
I’d like to thank the jury for your well-considered verdicts on this case. AKA — I won! I won! Yippee!
Hedon can forget about the mistrial business. No way. I suspect she knew she was going to lose the whole time, and set it up to be a mistrial. She’s devilishly clever that way. So forget it, Hedon. I won and that’s that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Sorry about the gloating, but it had to be done.