Truckin Cribs part five

2009 January 2

This is the final part in our Truckin Cribs series. Now I feel kinda bad about saving it for last. It’s Stace’s upper bunk area. Stace has declared her whole bunk a No Stinky Animals zone which means that Maggie and I aren’t allowed up there under any circumstances. Seems like there was more said at the time like something about needing a personal sanctuary and occasionally wanting time away from the heathens and such but I can’t remember the exact wording. Not that it would matter much since both Maggie and myself have stubby little legs that are far too short to climb up there.

Stace’s Bunk

Passenger side

Passenger side

1.  My computer always rides on Stace’s bunk when I’m not using it. This is partially because it is so damned hard to get it in and out of it’s case, partially because I’m only ever ten hours away from using it at the most, and partially because I just like to catch glimpses of it throughout the day. Stace doesn’t know that last reason though cause she would call me a computer-wussy.

2.  The upper bunk has actual little windows of a fashion. Which is good cause it’s almost always hot up there no matter how cold it is outside. The body heat alone can make it too hot to sleep unless you open a window. Also they work great to avoid smoke build-up when we’re just sitting around doing nothing but playing Tetris and smoking.

3.  Stace has her own set of shoe things attached with velcro to the cabinet up there but I have no idea what’s in them. Probably some really cool stuff that she had to sneak into the truck when I was at the store. Dang! I want some cool stuff, too!

Driver's side of Stace's bunk

Driver's side of Stace's bunk

Driver’s side of upper bunk

1.  Dog crate. We got this crate thinking there would be times when we would need something to keep Maggie in for whatever reason. In almost two years I think the dog has been in it once. It does serve a usual function, though. We use it to hold full trash bags until we can get to a truck stop to throw them away. We use those little grocery-store sized plastic bags as trash bags and they can fill up fast. With Miss I-Have-To-Be-Into-Everything-Maggie on the loose that could be a real problem especially at night, but we just put the full bags in the crate and move the crate into the driver’s seat when we stop. Problem solved.

2.  Hand hold used to climb up on the upper bunk.

That’s really all I know about what’s up on the top bunk. It’s just things you can see from the ground. Oh… I have spent some time thinking about the sort of things Stace is probably hoarding up there… like personal hot-tubs and flat screen tvs… but there’s no photographic evidence to back up my thoughts. Can’t help but wonder why Mags and I are strictly forbidden access though…

Why can't I go up with the good Mom?

Why can't I go up with the good Mom?

No-talent Artist’s rendition of Stace climbing into bunk

I did remember that I promised some sort of further exploration of the “Fat Old Lady Climbs into Bunk” acrobatics that goes on in the truck every day. First I thought I would just get a shot of Stace in mid-climb. Two things stopped that idea dead in it’s tracks: first  —  I really like all of my body parts just exactly the way they are. And second you can’t get far enough forward in the truck to get the whole shot in one picture anyway. This was also a problem when trying to just do the picture without Stace in it and add explanation arrows to it. Not to worry though, I have used several different shots and pieced them together so you can get an idea of what it looks like:

No-talent artist's rendering

No-talent artist's rendering

This is what Stace would look like as she climbs up into the top bunk if she were naked, and oddly see-through in places, and had horribly misshapen and out of proportioned limbs, and if she were strangely gold colored, and had no neck, and had really weird shaky skin with lots of bumps, and ugly goldish green hair… I’m sure you get the idea. Oh and the circle on the front of my bunk is actually the first step where she just moved her freakishly bowed left foot from to move it into the position you see here.

Well that wraps up the Truckin Cribs Tour. Unless I ever figure out a way onto that upper bunk… then there may be an update listing all the delights Stace has hidden up there. Hope you enjoyed looking around and I heartily encourage you to get one for yourself. :)

7 Responses
  1. 2009 January 2
    Belledog permalink

    Happy second day of 2009!

    Enjoyed the cribs tour. You all are pretty organized. Seems like a good home away from home.

    Loved the pics of Eddie and Salena’s new truck. Unbelievable, the amenities making it into 18 wheelers! Taking a page from RVs, but with better drivers and a tighter schedule!

  2. 2009 January 2

    I’m not sure about the rest, but I’ve always imagined Stace as gold colored? Does she ever wear glittery things? tee hee hee

  3. 2009 January 2

    I didn’t get a preview of this before Hedon posted it.

    Well, I may look like a freak, but look at how thin I am! It’s no wonder I love you so much, Hedon.

    As for the mystery of what might be up there on my bunk, should you hear the sound of splashing water, it most definitely is not a jacuzzi.


    I think that’s one of the advantages of having your likeness captured by someone with absolutely no talent. You get to be glittery gold colored and thin instead of having your usual blotchy Irish red skin and being fat.


    Happy New Year to you, too. We do try to stay organized, but it’s not easy.

  4. 2009 January 4

    Not bad with the ‘art’. Maybe you could take over for John Madden?

  5. 2009 January 5

    Ok that picture was just too fucking good! Seriously, I just laughed until I peed.

  6. 2009 January 6

    I’m pretty sure that constitutes as talent!

  7. 2009 January 7


    Thanks, guys. I’ll consider it talent. It does look kinda like Stace. I mean they both have two legs, two arms, a head…

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