Super Freak

2009 January 7
by Hedon

Stace and I have been playing this video game that we each have installed on our computers called Big Kahuna Reef 2 for the past few days. It’s a fun game, but she consistently spanks my butt so hard on the high scores that I have trouble sitting down the next day. I’m not sure why or how but I’ll figure it out eventually. She seems to think it’s just her natural mental superiority… but Fernando and I are sure that can’t be the answer.

I just realized that Stace’s uber-high scores on Big Kahuna Reef have nothing to do with what I wanted to say here. Oh wait… that’s right… that part was just thrown in there to explain why we’ve been listening to the radio a lot lately. Neither of us have been reading or writing or doing anything productive.

So anyway, we’ve been listening to the 70s and the 80s channels on the XM a lot and they keep playing that song “Super Freak” by Rick James. You know the one that starts out:

  • She’s a very kinky girl
  • The kind you don’t take home to Mother
  • So I was listening to it again last night and when he hits the part about “When I get there she’s got incense, wine and candles. It’s such a freaky scene.”  I had to snort derisively. I mean I know this song was written years ago, but seriously when did “incense, wine and candles” ever make one think “Damn! Now that is a freaky scene!?”

    I could understand it if he had said one of these:

    She’s got lime jello, a riding crop and a hamster. It’s such a freaky scene.

    She’s got Thousand Island dressing, a Margaret Thatcher mask and a toilet brush. It’s such a freaky scene.

    She’s got a cattle prod, a ziplock bag of toenail clippings and super glue. It’s such a freaky scene.

    She’s got a Benny Hill dvd, a plastic Twister mat and 30 used tea-bags. It’s such a freaky scene.

    I mean she’s supposed to be a Super Freak not just some ordinary run-of-the-mill wine and candles freak. Incense, wine and candles? Please! Let’s put a little effort into the freakiness, shall we?

    Or is the freaky part supposed to be the line “Three’s not a crowd to her” and not the bit about the candles and incense at all?  Hmmm… while threesomes are rare I guess… I still don’t think they qualify for Super Freak status all on their own. Maybe if one of the three is a farm animal that would push it over into Super Freakiness… depending on where you live… cause my understanding is that in some areas that’s just considered “animal husbandry” of up close and personal sort. I think he’s talking about a human, though, so no freak-points there.

    I’m not one to sit around passing judgement on this sort of thing (out loud) but I’m going to have to just go ahead and say that I don’t think she sounds very much like a Super Freak and I think it would be lovely to bring her home to meet Mother. Now, on the other hand, if she’s a “brick house” who’s “letting it all hang out” that might be a different matter entirely….

    6 Responses
    1. 2009 January 7

      I think my mother would LOVE an incense girl. Lord knows my brothers have brought home all kinds and I’m sure a couple might have made “Super Freak” status.

      I had an aquaintance (I hesitate to call this person friend but her husband and mine were buddies) who did “Leather-grams”. Dressed up in leather and carried a whip. It was like a candy-gram only not. Her signature song was Super Freak (sure as hell wasn’t Brick House because she was pretty much built like a boy).

    2. 2009 January 7

      OMG you are frickin hysterical! Love your alternate lines! Blahhhaaaa!

      Oh, and maybe Stace is whippin your butt on the game because she reads so many books. Maybe her mind is sharper. lol. Sorry, had to write that

    3. 2009 January 7

      This is SO funny! I too love your versions of the song’s lines. I can’t decide which is funniest. I love you guys! You’re SO clever!!!

      Oh, and Ed wanted me to tell you that he’s big on games too. He’s currently playing “Fall Out 3″ and “Team Fortress”.

      He probably wishes his girlfriend was more like you guys.

      Well, in that you like video games – not that you like girls…that kinda wouldn’t do him much good. LOL

      CAPTCHA: ex-mortgage (is that what people are going to start calling it when they can’t pay their mortgage payments anymore? “Well, my ex-mortgage was $2,000 a month we we forced to find something more affordable, so we had to let that one go.”)

    4. 2009 January 8

      Sayre,

      Who do you think you send a Leather-gram to? Your boss when you have been having to work a lot of over-time and you’re tired of it? The ladies down at the bank if you didn’t get the loan you requested? Your kid’s third grade teacher when Billy keeps getting notes sent home about his bad behavior?

      I knew there were leather-grams, I just never have been able to figure out who the target market is for a visit from a woman with a ball-gag and riding crop…
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Sheila,

      Thanks! And I’m quite sure you’re mistaken about Stace’s high scores… I’m convinced she must be cheating somehow. Or maybe it’s just that her freakishly superior and well-ordered mind finds it easier to see the patterns than that dumb-ass Fernando does. I’m still investigating it.
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Salena,

      LOL. I like the used tea-bags line myself… mostly because I can’t imagine what the hell one might do with used tea-bags. Freaky.

      Oh and tell Ed… well actually the entire next post is pretty much written to Ed I guess. I think I’ll have to check out his current titles. I’ve been needing a new game.

      I’m willing to bet that all things being equal… he’d much rather have you than us with or without the gaming… I’m thinking you are probably much more appealing in every way — except that I would let him spit in the house if he felt like it and you probably don’t… course Stace wouldn’t let him, either, so that’s a wash. :)

      LOL ex-mortgage

    5. 2009 January 8

      Well… our governor got one. Frat boys loved it (three universities here). Batchelor parties. Honestly, I can’t think of much else and the business didn’t last very long.

    6. 2009 January 9

      Well all I can say is that I tend to agree. Huh.

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