Temptation too great

2009 February 3
tags: ,
by Stace

So here we are sitting on a side street in Carson, CA (basically Los Angeles), having just eaten at our favorite restaurant in the area, a little place simply named Thai BBQ. The barbecue chicken and fried rice is to die for, and they have these things they call angel wings, which are chicken wings stuffed with yummy stuff (I’m not sure what it all is, but it’s delicious). We are two very happy and satisfied hags.

We’re not the only happy and satisfied people in the area. This dark street where we’re parked, we’re pretty certain, is where local hookers bring their johns. They drive up and park for anywhere from three minutes to no more than ten, and ply their trade. We can’t see much but ducking heads, which is really too bad, since Hedon and I are both curious sorts, even about vaguely repulsive sights.

While Hedon navigated around the L.A. area earlier today, I kept my head down in the bunk (always the best plan when Hedon is driving in L.A., for both our sakes), and goofed around on the internet. I learned that flamethrowers are actually legal in many states and that there is some legal drug named salvia that gives brief hallucinations which are so powerful it frightens some people from using a second time. I also learned what a MILF is, what Bukkake* is (*Edit — do not look this up if, uh, strange sexual practices turn your stomach), and that they actually make a sex toy for dogs.

You know you wanted to see it

You know you wanted to see it

I also learned that the likes of J.K. Rowling, Jewel and Bill Gates aren’t quite the rags to riches stories they would have us believe. And I discovered a number of former fashion trends which killed people. Yes, corsets were on the list.

All of this handy information came courtesy of Cracked.com.

Elsewhere on the net, I caught up on some blogs, checked on the latest WNBA news, then wandered over to Yahoo to see what was going on in the world.

After reading a couple of actual news stories (one particularly frightening story about Libya’s Ghadafi being named to head the African Union for the next year), I decided to see what the current entertainment news was.

Big mistake.

As you know, last week I confessed to the rather salacious shows I watched on TV while I was home. I had thought I would try to clean up my act next time home, but then I wandered into the TV section at Yahoo today.

Piece of info #1 — CBS has ordered a new reality series in which an adult’s family will select a mate for them, who they will then marry. The show will follow the marriage. The working title is “Arranged Marriage.”

Piece of info #2 — On Mondays, on ABC (a network we don’t receive, but which often re-runs its stuff on cable channels we do get), is “True Beauty.” Apparently, beautiful people compete in a beauty contest, but there’s a twist. The contestants don’t know that it isn’t just their looks that are being judged, but also how they behave, i.e. how pretty they are inside.

Piece of info #3 — Logo premiered a new show tonight featuring Rupaul, “Rupaul’s Drag Race.” In this reality competition program, Rupaul hosts and judges the contestants to find “The Next Superstar Drag Queen of the World.”

Now, I ask you, how in the ever-loving hell am I to keep the resolution to clean up my TV act when those crafty bastards in the reality programming world are throwing at me such unbelievably tempting programming? It’s impossible, I say, to resist it. Singles desperate enough to agree to a televised arranged marriage, narcissists judged on morality, and, oh my god, competing drag queens? How can I not watch that?

As I write this, I am fighting the temptation to dash to the TiVO site and remotely tell my TiVO at home to record the Rupaul show. Argh! I’m no good at willpower.

Where’s that leftover Thai barbecue chicken?

6 Responses
  1. 2009 February 3

    I, too, am a curious sort. Have you ever seen the documentary on HBO, called “Hookers at the Point”, filmed in Hunts Point, NY? OMG, SO good!! They had microphones in the cars and although the actual sex sounds are not interesting, the conversation is. I always wondered what was said during those transactions. Look for it online – maybe YouTube? I know for sure BitTorrent has it to download. VERY “behind the scenes”.

    As for your other discoveries….MILF I knew (hello? Do you live under a rock??), Bukkake I had to Google (thanks a lot! I didn’t need to know that) and the sex toys for dogs? (I know what a few happy pooches are getting this year for Christmas!) Oh, and by the way – I’d wear a corset if I knew I was going to die with an 18″ waist.

    The reality shows are really getting train-wreckingly juicy, aren’t they? “Arranged Marriage” looks interesting, I saw some of “True Beauty” already – I think it’s worth a gander. And I haven’t heard about the RuPaul thing. But c’mon – RuPaul is one glam drag queen. I’d watch that in a heartbeat! lol

    Do you guys have an extra Big-man recliner??

    CAPTCHA: Logging Officers (“Excuse me sir…where do you think you’re going with those logs??”)

  2. 2009 February 3

    The first time I heard of a MILF was “Weeds” which I watch as often as possible.

    And, I’ve watched True Beauty. Somewhat entertaining, though a couple of them are just stoopit.

    Sex toys for dogs? Who needs them, Skylar has his bed; a nap after humping it across the floor is always nice.

    Not gonna look up that other word…not after reading Salena’s post.

    We went to see Frost/Nixon tonight. I wanted to yell out “What about Cambodia?” when Nixon was going on about Vietnam. I restrained myself for the husband’s sake though and settled for hissing it under my breath. Shrub makes Nixon look like a Sunday school teacher. Where is the outrage with Shrub???? Where the hell is it?

  3. 2009 February 3

    love the dog porn. your post made me think of the Hulu ad that ran during the superbowl… had to do with melting brains because we just can’t resist t.v. i don’t remember the whole thing, but it made me laugh my ass off. as(s) do you. ;-) if you didn’t see it, i think you should look it up. unless i was too vague. and then, well, oops.

  4. 2009 February 3

    I also knew what a MILF was…but I did have to Google the other word, even after reading Salena’s comment. Hmmm…no thanks. I’ve already showered today.

    I’ve watched the first few episodes of True Beauty. It is definitely a reality show train wreck. I don’t have the LOGO channel anymore so I won’t be able to watch Rupaul’s Drag Race and that is a disappointing.

  5. 2009 February 3

    Okay, didn’t click with me that ya’ll might look up bukkake. Duh! Sorry about that. I’ll edit the post to put in a warning. Me, like I said, I’m a curious sort and find weird sexual predilections … well, generally interesting and often hilarious (pony play — hahahaha — but don’t look this one up, either — heh).

    Selena, LOVED “Hookers on the Point.” There’s another one, called, and no I’m not making a joke, “It Ain’t Easy Being a Ho.” The title is a quote from one of the interviewed working girls. As for what they say in those cars, I always imagine it’s — John: “Mmm.” Working Girl: “Hurry it up, sugar.”

    Decorina, yeah, where the hell is it? Maybe people are just too worked up about Jessica Simpson gaining some weight to have any emotion left for Bush.

    April, thanks. Just watched it on YouTube. :-)

    Employee, shower — LOL!

  6. 2009 February 4

    Oh, Jessica Simpson – can you say “Bovine”???

    No, seriously…I’m kidding. WTF are these people thinking calling Jessica Simpson fat??? I’d cut off my left leg to look like her – believe me, there are men out there looking for hot one legged chicks. I’d score like mad!!

    Although, if I were working at “The Point” (hypothetically) I guess I’d need both legs to stand on my corner….unless someone propped me against a light pole. Hmmm.

    Anyway…yeah, I think that must be it. Jessica Simpson is fat, as are all the Desperate Housewives and oh, let’s not forget the girls from ____________________ (insert any show on the WB).

    That’s why everyone is distracted and can’t concentrate on how we can string Bush up with catgut out on his Crawford ranch. I’m sure Decorina would be first in line for that little ho-down. (Sans the real “ho’s” of course)

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