Happy V-Day

2009 February 14
by Stace

As I was considering what I might possibly write about Valentine’s Day that hasn’t already been written a million times before (it’s a holiday invented by greeting card companies, it’s fraught with the danger of overly-high expectations, it’s a time to share your love, blah blah blah), it occurred to me that bloggers, during the holidays, have a scary resemblance to grade school teachers. For both groups, holidays seem to be impossible to ignore.

Remember how in grade school every holiday, no matter how obscure, your teacher would break out all the appropriate decorations and plaster them on the walls of the classroom? Even Groundhog Day and President’s Day got considerable play at my grade school. I don’t think a teacher in the joint would have dared to ignore a single holiday (except all those blasphemous, religious non-Christian ones).

I bet there were a number of those teachers who wished to hell they didn’t have to crack out the dusty hearts and tattered cupids every February.

In my school when I was a kid, a few days before Valentine’s Day we would bring shoe boxes to school and proceed to put our artistic talents to work at turning these mundane pieces of cardboard into masterful testimonies to the power of love, the future receptacles of reams of tiny Valentines.

I used to secretly envy the kids who would haphazardly slap some construction paper on the top of the box, scribble a heart on it with whatever color crayon happened to be near, and call it good to go, thereby freeing up a considerable amount of time for chit-chat and general trouble-making.

I, being little miss goody-pants, would slave over the box, agonizing if the edges of my construction paper were not perfectly even, drawing and re-drawing countless hearts in an effort to make them perfectly symmetrical before cutting them out to paste on the box. The dilemmas over what colors to use, and if that doily would look good or not, and the frustrations of glitter sticking everywhere except where I wanted it … well, all this business certainly left no time for chit-chat.

I never once wondered what it was all for, or considered that there wasn’t any point to all this effort. The truth was that on Valentine’s day, you were going to get Valentines shoved in your box or you weren’t, and nobody based their Valentine-giving judgment on the quality of the decorated box.

I think that as I’ve aged, I’ve become better at determining what is worth my effort and what is not.

For instance, I’ll sit in my bunk and watch Maggie rip half a roll of paper towels to shreds and think, “I should stop that. Paper towels don’t grow on trees, ya know. Well, actually, they kind of do since paper comes from trees. But it’s not like I can just pluck a roll of paper towels off a tree. So that’s just wasted money down there. Might as well give the dog a couple bucks to chew on, it’s the same thing. I should stop that. Oh hell, the dog’s enjoying herself, and I don’t really want to have to haul my fat ass off this bunk right now. I’ll get it later.”

Apparently, I have a going rate of more than two bucks to heave myself out of this bunk. I appear to know exactly what my effort is worth. I bet I know in other areas as well, but haven’t really thought about it. Good to know the last 35 years haven’t been a waste in that department, anyway.

What else has not been a waste, have been the 17 years Hedon and I have been a couple. Today is our anniversary, of sorts. At any rate, it’s the day we agreed upon 16 years ago, even though I lobbied strongly against it because of the embarrassing corniness factor.

Still, it was 17 years ago today that Hedon and I said we loved each other as more than friends, making this our anniversary. There’s no one I know better than her, or who knows me better, and we still love and like each other. Not too shabby. And surprisingly, it didn’t take much effort either. Sometimes, you just get lucky.

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone.

Hedon and I on Valentine's Day, if we were thin, and straight, and one of us were a man (and by one of us, I mean Hedon, because she would never wear a dress).

Hedon and I on Valentine's Day, if we were thin, and straight, and one of us were a man (and by one of us, I mean Hedon, because she would never wear a dress).

5 Responses
  1. 2009 February 14

    First, loved that caption under the pic, lol. Congrats, happy anniversary and happy VD. (not the std, lol)

    I was one of those kids too who worked her fingers raw preparing the best valentine shoebox. Now? I bought two boxes of goobers…gave one to Shane and said Happy Valentines Day. I then gave the other to me and told him, ‘this is from you. Thanks!’.

    Life is good.

  2. 2009 February 14

    Happy Anniversary to my favorite Highway Hags! Hope you have some great moments!
    Also, I am proud to let you know I have never posted about a holiday on my blog. No…wait…I think I did post about the time we gave my brother-in-law a fake puss and some lube for Christmas because he’s such a giant ho. Does that count?

  3. 2009 February 14

    I do often feel the pull to blog about a holiday – not every single one and certainly not (in my opinion) with cheesy construction paper cut-outs. Although that wouldn’t be above me since I once decorated the entire truck (our old one) with streamers and balloons for Ed’s birthday while he slept. He didn’t stir at ALL as I climbed over him, taping the streamers and balloons everywhere and awoke, surprised, to a birthday “party” right there in the truck. LOL

    Valentine’s Day happens to be one of my favorite holidays (Thanksgiving, for the food, is the other one) because I like the Victorian aspect of it. I like the colors, the old Valentines, the flowers and chocolate (although I’ve never been a steady recipient of them) and I, too, were one of those kids in class who had to have THE PERFECT SHOEBOX. I’m a little anal when it comes to crafty decorating.

    That aside, I always love hearing about you and Hedon. The way you talk about each other, the way you laugh with each other, the way you seem (since I don’t REALLY know you) to know each other oh so well, is truly the way one should love another, in my opinion. Having that mutual feeling last so many years for you two, doesn’t even appear to be work, it’s just natural. And that’s just beautiful. And so worth the obligatory Valentine post.

    I did love your picture, which the caption, but perhaps you didn’t look hard enough in Google Images like I did, to find an accurate Valentine picture to represent your love:


    That is, if you each had one eye, cupid bow lips and a wispy tendril of hair.

    Happy Valentine’s Day to both of you!! (And Maggie – doggie smooch to her). I’ll be catching up with my posting soon…and pictures of what we are now calling The Marion County Shirt Factory Incident.

  4. 2009 February 14

    Because I blog mostly as a history for my son, I feel somewhat obligated to post something about holidays because they are important to him. This V-Day was looked forward to with great anticipation because he actually has a crush this year on a little girl. There was thoughtful valentine signing and candy and funny little smiles. When I picked him up from school, he was still wearing his. I got my first kiss in fourth grade. I wonder if he will – and if he’ll tell (I didn’t).

    Happy Valentine’s day to both of you – may your anniversaries keep piling up and may you feel as happy with them in the future as you do now!

  5. 2009 February 16

    Thanks, all. Had no idea, when I wrote this, that Hedon was going to go and change the day of our anniversary. She likes to keep me on my toes.

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