Out again

2009 March 3
tags: , ,
by Stace

Finally managed to pull ourselves away from the TV and headed back out onto the road again. I had so many shows stacked up on the TiVO that I didn’t have enough time to watch them all. Had to leave the first three episodes of “The Amazing Race” until next time.

I did manage, last time out, to fight off the calling to remotely schedule recordings of “RuPaul’s Drag Show” on Logo. My will crumbled at home, however, and I wound up watching reruns of all the episodes to date. Hedon and I have only been to one drag show in our lives, and that was in Arkansas, where we spent every moment expecting the police to come raid the joint and arrest us (it was known to happen at least twice a month). The local cops must have had something better to do that night, since we were left alone. After all the anticipation, we didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

The RuPaul show makes me love being alive right now. Not too long ago, this show never could have been aired. Logo sure wouldn’t have had a chance. Hell, I still vividly remember when pretty much every sponsor except the movie industry boycotted the “Ellen” show when she came out on air. Now, Ellen Degeneres is a Cover Girl. Never mind the talk show stuff. I mean, my god, a queer and out Cover Girl. And a pretty damned butch one at that.

So “RuPaul’s Drag Show” was pretty much what I had hoped it would be. I think they had a good mix of contestants. Of course, the fat drag queen was the first to go. At least the ugly one made it to the third elimination, as I recall (though I’m not sure what she expected to happen when she told one of the members of Destiny’s Child that she didn’t like their music — duh!). Once eliminated, the contestants are told to “Sashay away.” Gotta love that. And there’s no other show I know of that spends a considerable amount of time regarding appropriate “tucking.”

The most shocking thing about it, to me, was seeing RuPaul out of drag. The only word I can think of to describe it is “Urkelesque.”

RuPaul isn’t the only show I watched, of course. I was disgusted that “The Biggest Loser” made the contestants switch trainers. And I don’t know, is if just me, or does Jillian not seem as into the show as usual? She’s still telling people she doesn’t care if they puke or die while in training, but I don’t know. She used to say that like she rather hoped they would puke or die. This season, she actually doesn’t seem to care. Hedon thinks she must be in love … or having an affair. And Hedon thinks the affair is with …

Gordon Ramsey. This season on “Hell’s Kitchen” Gordon has yet to call anyone a cow or a donkey, his two favorite barnyard insults. And on the first episode, he actually swallowed and liked six or so of the chefs’ signature dishes. Something is definitely not right. An affair may be the answer.

On the topic of love, “Big Love” is better than ever this season. The episode the week before last, where the whole family goes on a road trip to some Mormon shindig, was particularly outstanding. Old secrets were revealed at last, the fallout from which won’t settle for some time. What “Big Love” excels at is characterization. I don’t know what the actress’s name is who plays Nikki, but my-oh-my does she nail the hypocrisy of this character. They are really all tremendous at playing their roles. I perk up every time Bill’s mother and father are in a scene. The mother on the most recent episode, when Bill asks her if she’s going to a family wedding, says something to the effect of, “No, I’m not going. There will just be a big scene. What with your father trying to kill me because I tried to kill him … Do you want me to babysit the kids while you’re gone?”

Lemme think. What else. Oh, yes, we were surprised that Brenda actually went through with her wedding on “The Closer.” We’re still liking “Chuck” and “The Big Bang Theory” on CBS and “The Office” and “My Name is Earl” on NBC, but we couldn’t get into “Trust Me” on TNT or “Lie to Me” on Fox, so that will be some space saved on the TiVO. I’ve missed so many episodes of “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles,” because of recording conflicts, that I might as well cancel it. The latest episode, I had no clue what was going on there.

Hedon threatened to do me bodily harm if I bitched one more time about that kid on “American Idol” who the judges didn’t put through to the top 36. Come on now. How could they not put him through? He was the friend of that one kid with the recently deceased wife, the one who was voted into the top 12 week before last. Both those guys were great, and I just can’t figure out why one got through and not the other. If I had been him, when Paula asked him if he thought he would try again next year, I would have told her to shove it.

Oh well. You’ve got to figure “American Idol” is nearing the end of its run. The new judge is okay, but it’s really just more blather to fast-forward through. So far, I haven’t seen much to get excited about. Except that one kid who didn’t even make it to the top 36! That was crazy. What were they thinking? He was way better than that over-the-top kid who sang “Satisfaction” last week. WAY better! And that pretty boy who made it to the 12, he couldn’t hold a candle to my kid. I was fairly disgusted last season when that kid who lived in his car didn’t make it to the voting stage of the competition. But this was even more outrageous. Okay, I’d better stop. Hedon will give me the eye when she reads this, or yell “Good God! Shut up already.”

I didn’t have time to check out the housewife shows on Bravo, nor did I find an opportunity to gawk at Brett Michael’s wig and makeup. I did, however, watch “I Love Money 2,” a VH1 show where amazingly stupid people try to plot their way to a cash prize. And “Tool Academy,” another VH1 schadenfreude-fest, where a bunch of jerks attempt to convince their girlfriends they can change their jerkoff ways, and eliminated contestants are told they are “Just a tool.” These two shows would be my sordid fix for this hometime.

The newest program to be season pass-ed on my TiVO is “Celebrity Apprentice.” This show is a problem for me because I absolutely cannot stand Donald Trump, and have therefore never watched “The Apprentice.” I did watch the Martha Stewart version, though, and the previous “Celebrity Apprentice.” I thought I’d pass on the current show, but Scott Hamilton is on it. And Dennis Rodman. And a very ancient and creepy-looking Joan Rivers. And Annie Duke. So I’m going to have to overlook the presence of the Donald and watch it anyway.

Now, what did I do other than watch TV and play the podcast of Hedon’s radio interview, much to her disgust, over and over? Well, lots of laundry, some cooking, a bit of video game playing and one dinner out with the family. That’s right, folks, I have a busy, busy life. It’s no wonder that, once again, I didn’t get the bathroom cabinet and drawers cleaned out. Not my fault. Busy woman. Lots to do. Uh … yeah.

7 Responses
  1. 2009 March 3

    I don’t know why I’m admitting this, but I wasn’t aware there was a show called “RuPaul’s Drag Show”. As you went on to describe going to your first drag show and hoping the cops wouldn’t show up, I assumed you were going to a street-drag racing show which was illegal. Hahahahahahaha. So in case other readers out there aren’t feeling all that smart this morning, I beat you. You’re welcome.


  2. 2009 March 3
    punxxi permalink

    OMG!! Drag Race is a fab show, I don’t get the LOGO channel, but I watch it every monday on my laptop. I just found out that the show is so popular that they are now showing it on vh-1. i will continue watching it on my lappy because i like that you can take a pee break now and then. Raven, find the online version of LOGO and you can watch every episode and some other stuff too.

  3. 2009 March 3

    Well, Raven, here’s the capper — I didn’t get the title of the show right. Punxxi, clearly being polite, didn’t point this out, but I feel that I should. The title of the show is “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” not “Show.” LOL.

    Back when I was a kid, I used to give my mom a hard time for mixing up the names of things. She would say things like “Shirley and Laverne,” instead of “Laverne and Shirley.” Kharma’s been striking me hard for quite a few years now. Just the other day, I called “Tool Academy,” “Tool Time.” Saaaaad.

  4. 2009 March 4


    It’s usually my job to make readers feel uber-intelligent by comparison, but thanks for pitching in and helping out. :)

  5. 2009 March 4


    I can’t believe you listed making the best pot roast I’ve tasted in well over ten years — and possibly in my entire life — as “did some cooking” for pete’s sake. Honestly, it was heavenly. You could have devoted a whole paragraph to it a la:

    One night while we were home I went into the kitchen and caused time and space to stand still with my culinary greatness. I casually served Hedon a pot roast that I had whipped up and literally caused her to cry a few tears of joy at the mouth-watering perfection of the meal. Feeling magnanimous, I waved off her ardent vows of devotion and heartfelt pronouncements of my obvious superiority with an airy wave of the hand and a smile.

    You could have said exactly that… but you know… in your own words. :)

  6. 2009 March 4

    Hey, I thought I made the best pot roast. My bad. I bow before your superior culinary skills, Stace. Heh heh.

  7. 2009 March 4
    punxxi permalink

    here is the link for the show:
    just in case you need it

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