Celebrate the Stupidity

In keeping with what is shaping up to be a theme on my part, I thought the next couple of days we would “celebrate the stupidity” with two of my favorite trucking stories. I wasn’t involved in either of them but the old boys who told them to me each insisted they really happened. Since the first one was told to me by a guy who was telling on himself, I’m pretty sure it really did happen. The second one… well I have my doubts that anyone could actually BE that stupid and hold down a job. But the driver who told me about it insisted he saw the whole thing go down… so you’ll have to be the judge.

East-bound and down

For those of you who don’t know this is how a newbie typically gets into trucking. First you go through school. Then you get hired on with your company. Then they send you out with a trainer for anywhere from about three weeks to six weeks depending on the company. Then you go into one of your company’s terminals take some sort of road and backing tests and if you pass you get upgraded into your own truck. The details may vary from company to company, but that’s the general gist of it. And let me tell you… no matter how much you liked your trainer you were still in their truck all those weeks. So the first night you actually get to spend in your own truck is pretty heady stuff. I was looking forward to it eagerly.

I was about finished with my training and at one of my company’s terminals shooting the breeze with some old drivers while my trainer’s truck was in the shop. They were teasing me about how I was never going to get my own truck and such and we were just generally having a good time laughing and joking. Then one of them suddenly looked real serious and said something like, “You just need to be real sure you do everything right on your first solo load. You wouldn’t believe the things that can go wrong once you don’t have a trainer to lean on anymore.”

That made me awfully nervous and I was already feeling a great deal of pressure so I eagerly pressed him for details. I wanted to know what sort of stuff I should look out for. I remember wondering if I should go get my note pad and take notes as he leaned back in his chair, lit a cigarette and began his story:

I remember I upgraded and got my own truck at the Dallas yard. I made it through the driving test ok, but I was a little shaky on the backing. I wasn’t sure they were going to upgrade me, but in the end they decided I did good enough and handed me the keys to my very own four-year-old Freightliner Century with 478 thousand miles on it and a dinged-up faring. I had to clean that truck on the inside from top to bottom before I could move all my stuff into it. I don’t know who was in there before me but they were nasty. Anyway, I finally got it all cleaned up and got my things stowed away. I tried to sleep a couple of times but I was so excited to get my first load that I couldn’t sleep for long before I would wake up and start moving stuff around again. I spent the better part of that night rearranging what little stuff I had with me. Man I thought I was in heaven.

Just when I thought I couldn’t stand the suspense much longer, my first load finally came over the Qualcomm. It looked like a pretty easy load. Empty move from Dallas to Louisiana to pick up the load there then drive on to Atlanta and deliver it the next night. Pretty much stay on I-20 the entire way and only one fuel stop east of Dallas. Not a bad load. Well I wrote down all the load information in this little notebook I had bought and headed out. I stopped and got fuel without any major issues and was on my way again rolling east.

Later that evening, I was flying down I-20 with the radio and the cb both blaring full blast. I had the driver’s side window down and the wind was flying through that truck like a gulf coast hurricane. Things were going great and I had been eating up the miles all day. I was even making really good time. Then I got a message over the Qualcomm asking where I was. I messaged back that I had just crossed the Alabama state line and was getting ready to shut it down for the night. Then since I was feeling pretty cocky I sent a second message telling them they didn’t have to worry cause the load would deliver in Atlanta plenty early.

Well I didn’t hear anything for a while then I just got a message back that said, “Do you know why you’re in trouble?” I had already stopped by this point and I just sat there racking my brain trying to think of what I might have done wrong. I knew I had pushed my log book a little but hell everybody does that and besides there was no way for them to know that I had done it. So I was getting more and more worked up trying to figure out what was going on when finally about five minutes later another message came through… “You forgot to stop in Louisiana and pick up your load.”

Lord those old boys laughed over that one! I guess he had to turn around and go back to get his load after his eight hour break was over. They all had great fun telling me that maybe I should write that down on a checklist of some sort… and that I should make sure “pick up the load” was listed before “deliver the load.” 

Tune in tomorrow for part two of our Celebration of Stupidity.