Recently overheard in the truck — In front of the trucker restrooms at a rest area outside Cincinnati, Ohio. Stace is sitting in the driver’s seat, and Hedon is in the bunk.
Stace: Hmph. Look at that. A whole SUV full of men and boys just pulled up next to us. Obviously can’t read the signs that says this part is for trucks.
Stace: Why is it that there are a billion places where we aren’t allowed to go, but nowhere that four wheelers aren’t allowed to go? It’s bullshit.
Hedon: Some truck stops don’t allow four-wheelers in the truck parking.
Stace: That’s just because of the prostitutes. As if they can’t figure out to park in the car area and walk over to the trucks. Numbnuts.
Stace: There’s goes a driver. He’ll have to wait on all those four-wheelers before he can pee.
Stace: Good god. Look. All those men and boys are already coming out. Who can pee that fast?
Stace: Well, they obviously didn’t take the time to wash their hands. Ugh. Look at them over at the soda machines, touching everything.
Stace: And here comes the trucker. That’s just crazy. How did he even have enough time to zip his pants? That’s some serious light-speed whizzing. And clearly, no handwashing.
Stace (after a few minutes): Four wheelers are leaving.
Stace: And there goes that driver. Look at him, he’s rubbing his face — ew — probably with the same hand that he just used to pull out his penis in the bathroom! If he’s right-handed, and most people are. Ew!
Hedon: Okay. That’s it. No more bathroom play-by-play. Get in the bunk. I’m driving.
Stace: Yeah. Catch up to that driver. I’ll make a gross-out face at him.
Hedon (sarcasm in every word): Umhmm. That’s a great plan. I’ll get right on it.