Personal hygiene

2009 March 10

Recently overheard in the truck — In front of the trucker restrooms at a rest area outside Cincinnati, Ohio. Stace is sitting in the driver’s seat, and Hedon is in the bunk.

Stace: Hmph. Look at that. A whole SUV full of men and boys just pulled up next to us. Obviously can’t read the signs that says this part is for trucks.

Hedon: Oh.

Stace: Why is it that there are a billion places where we aren’t allowed to go, but nowhere that four wheelers aren’t allowed to go? It’s bullshit.

Hedon: Some truck stops don’t allow four-wheelers in the truck parking.

Stace: That’s just because of the prostitutes. As if they can’t figure out to park in the car area and walk over to the trucks. Numbnuts.

Hedon: …

Stace: There’s goes a driver. He’ll have to wait on all those four-wheelers before he can pee.

Hedon: Hmm.

Stace: Good god. Look. All those men and boys are already coming out. Who can pee that fast?

Hedon: Hmm.

Stace: Well, they obviously didn’t take the time to wash their hands. Ugh. Look at them over at the soda machines, touching everything.

Hedon: Hmm.

Stace: And here comes the trucker. That’s just crazy. How did he even have enough time to zip his pants? That’s some serious light-speed whizzing. And clearly, no handwashing.

Hedon: …..

Stace (after a few minutes): Four wheelers are leaving.

Hedon: …..

Stace: And there goes that driver. Look at him, he’s rubbing his face — ew — probably with the same hand that he just used to pull out his penis in the bathroom! If he’s right-handed, and most people are. Ew!

Hedon: Okay. That’s it. No more bathroom play-by-play. Get in the bunk. I’m driving.

Stace: Yeah. Catch up to that driver. I’ll make a gross-out face at him.

HedonĀ (sarcasm in every word): Umhmm. That’s a great plan. I’ll get right on it.

5 Responses
  1. 2009 March 10

    YUCKKKKKKK! Not enough Purell in the world! And this is exactly why I take Purell everywhere. I’ll never look at a soda machine the same.

  2. 2009 March 10
    Belledog permalink

    glad I finished my coffee before popping over here this morning. :)

    but good point, Hedon, about cars encroaching on the little available truck parking.

  3. 2009 March 10

    I don’t think guys ever wash their hands. And as for the four-wheelers – they annoy me. But then, so do RV’s and people pulling little trailers. Also, it bothers me when a bobtail at a truckstop takes up a whole spot when he could have easily fit somewhere else.

    Often, in the rest areas, especially if it’s late and there is no room on the truck parking side, I will park on the four wheeler side. I dare someone to come over and tell me to move.

  4. 2009 March 11

    ha ha ha ha! Some people are just gross! And you, Mizz Stace, sound like the kind of person I would have check my cleaning skills.

  5. 2009 March 14

    Sheila and MG,

    I don’t know why she keeps watching stuff like that. My personal feeling is more of a “what I don’t know won’t hurt me” approach. I do know that my immune system has never been stronger than since I’ve been trucking… I haven’t even had a cold in over four years.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~

    Salena,

    It pisses me off, too. I mean there are a million places you can park a bobtail or a small rv why are you taking up a truck space? I will park in the car side, too if there is nothing else.

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