Oh, honestly!
I swear, I think there’s no hope for humanity. Armageddon won’t come from an asteroid, or a returning deity, or the change of a millennium. It’s just gonna come because, as a species, we’re too butt-ass stupid to survive.
I was sifting through the top sellers on the Kindle yesterday, looking for freebies, when I stumbled across a book which claimed that in the year 2012, Dec. 21, 2012 to be exact, the earth will align with the center of the galaxy and as a result, we humans will either perish in anarchy or be sent soaring into a new age of earthly paradise. Ummhmm.
So, as a form of self-torture to which I am sometimes drawn, I read the reader reviews of the book. They were a perky lot, all pleased that this particular writer was not prophesying doom and gloom in 2012, but instead pointing out that the choice of doom or earthly Eden was ours to make. On Dec. 21, 2012. It turns out this was like the guy’s 10th book on the subject. And he uses science and stuff to prove his points. Ummhmm.
One reviewer blathered on and on about how our DNA is tuned to the galaxy’s core and that this DNA, along with everything else, will revolve itself to align with the spin of the black hole there in the center of the galaxy. On and on he went, then at the end posted links to the books he, himself, has written about the upcoming apocalypse. Ummhmm.
This was the first I had heard that we are less than four years from a critical moment in the history of humankind. So today I popped over to Wikipedia to see what was up with this 2012 business. The brouhaha appears to have started because of some end date in the ancient Mayan calendar. This means we’re all doomed come 2012. Apparently, loads and loads of paper have been wasted discussing what’s going to happen. I won’t describe it any further, since I’m pretty sure that my reading of that article has lowered my IQ by several points, and reciting the nonsense here will only give Hedon a further advantage in Brain Wars VII.
I wonder, though, do people just sit around, day after day, digging through actual scholarly research, looking for some tidbit they can manipulate to scare stupid people? And I wonder, the stupid people who go for these doomsday scenario schemes, are they always the same ones? I mean, are the people who thought the world was ending Jan. 1, 2000, the same people who now think it will happen on Dec. 21, 2012? Or did those year 2000 people just kind of dip their heads in shame and then pretend they never believed it? And this would mean there are just scads and scads of fools who go for this stuff.
That people believe this utter nonsense is a far better sign of our impending doom, than any Mayan calendar could conceivably be.
Normally, I don’t go in for calling people stupid (not in public at any rate), since I really don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But some days …
I was at Yahoo and one of the featured stories of the day was some fashion faux pas by Jennifer Lopez. I was thinking, how bad can it be? Not that I give a damn what JLo wears. But I’m bored, so what the hell, I’ll go see it. Big deal. Bad pants. Whatever. But then I notice a picture of Kathy Griffin, with, of all people, Paris Hilton. I click for a bigger view.
Now, this gets a laugh out of me, because Kathy Griffin is decked out in this hilarious pink tutu number, complete with pink ribbon in hair, and giant sparkly Barbie purse, walking next to the ever-moronic Paris Hilton. It’s no surprise that Paris is too stupid to understand when she’s being mocked (maybe a staff member explained it to her later, maybe not). But to sell this photo in headlines as a fashion disaster … well, there’s no hope.
People in the comment section were actually debating whether or not Kathy looked good in her outfit. I swear to god. One person said, “kathy is trying too hard to be cool and she’s too old. Paris is being Paris ….i like her she’s real….but kathy????” The few voices of reason in the comments section, explaining what Kathy was doing, went completely unheeded.
Doomed, I say. Yet I’m willing to bet the apocalypse fools won’t go for my version.
I totally agree, this 2012 stuff is a bunch of crap. But wat is really scarry is that people believe this junk. Amazing.
How’s the weather out there where ever you are?
Hahahaha, you crack me up. Classic Stace. And, their standard fall back position when the earth doesn’t, in fact, explode on schedule is that…well they miscalculated. Idjits.
BTW, going to be driving through Ohio, PA and MD next week. You two going to be anywhere around there? Hope I don’t freeze my butt off. Though it would be hard to beat Denver for freezing these days.
These “writers” probably wanted a gig on Art Bell, now they have to settle for that other guy.
Ahhh, 2012. I’ve actually read quite a bit on this. Yes, the Mayan calandar runs out then. A ancient society that knew more about stars and planets and had the whole idea of time and dates figured out long before anyone. In fact, their way of keeping time is actually more precise than our own calandar.
Also, other ancient cultures also have 2012 pegged as their last days of their calandar. Weird. (not to mention the Native Americans who believe this 5th world – or is it the 4th? – is due to end also.)
I don’t think anything catastrophic will happen…well, unless some of the scientists are actually right for once and the magnetic fields shift again, suddenly, and we’re all wiped clean.
Some say it will be a mmass enlightenment.
As far as I can see, it’s JUST going to be a spectacular sky show when all the planets become perfectly aligned in the middle of the Milky Way – which I’m not entirely sure, but I don’t think that’s happened in 26,000 years. – Maybe it never has? I dunno.
Well see. 2012 is also an election year. lol. Which means we may get someone in there that F’s everything up even worse. lol.
limericc — little rainy here in Pennsylvania today. Heading into Ohio.
Decorina — we would have been in the area, because they tried to give us Turn and Burn 4, but we’re due for hometime, so we said no. Supposed to get us home by Wednesday. Bummer we’ll miss you. It hasn’t been all that cold on our route the past couple of days– Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts. Been mid-40s to 50s. Gotta beat CO.
punxxi — seems these folks always find some way to get heard.
Sheila — apparently, there’s a movie named “2012″ that’s being released this fall (November?). Hollywood loves a good disaster scenario, as do people it seems.
EDIT: Only a few hours after I posted that the weather was fine, here we are in Ohio and it’s 34 degrees with a wintry mix falling. Geez, I should have kept my mouth shut.
I spent my weekend watching the old Airport movies. And Poseiden Adventure. It’s a wonder anyone ever left their houses… Just like people staying away from the beaches after Jaws came out. There are days when I think the public at large just isn’t that smart.
Stace,
I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this before… but… I love you.
I really seriously do.
Sayre — I remember the “Jaws” thing. We were spending the summer on the Gulf of Mexico when that movie came out. I still remember walking the beaches for weeks afterward, coming across the de-jawed carcasses of small sharks. Those who didn’t avoid the beaches, apparently, had found a new trophy sport.
Hedon — seriously? Ha.
Well, this has been an, um interesting trip. The dealership had to pay a $2000 fine yesterday and buy me 6 trip permits before I would move their equipment another inch. Too long to go into here, but my question for them when I get home is this: “What do you think we are driving out here? Freaking VOLKSWAGONS????” Idjits. I’ve got a 2007 Western Star tractor/wrecker and am towing a 2005 Freightshaker cab/chassis. With a CO “Transit” plate. No permits were purchased…they are sooooo stupid. I was hassled in Nebraska and Iowa. The permits are sometimes purchased at truck stops, sometimes from the state smokies. It is a freaking nightmare. So I drove all of 100 miles yesterday and called it quits.
BTW, on Elk Mountain in WY I saw a UFO. Seriously! One of the highlights of my driving so far. That truck parking area has been eliminated…and I never saw it again. But I think of it often. I waved at them…and woke up a flatbed driver so that he could see it too.
More later – going to Ohio today. Pray for me (if you are so inclined).