It went quickly

2009 April 8
by Stace

Well, we’re back on the road. Home time always goes by so quickly. I’m ready to head back out, though, and get to making some money. Last month was great, and I hope for more of the same this month.

So, once again, I didn’t get around to cleaning out the bathroom cabinets. Gee, that was too bad. On the upside, Brain Wars are over, and Fernando has returned to wearing underwear, for which we are all grateful. I managed to watch almost all of the television shows I had TiVO’d. Big surprise, I know.

I usually have a rundown of what all I watched, but this time, oh … I was just kind of bored. It’s probably just me.

The end of the “Big Love” season was very good. I think this was its best season to date. Other than this show … bleh.

In my eighth year of watching “American Idol,” I think I’m over it. In the past couple of years I haven’t been all that excited about any of the contestants, save Melinda Doolittle, who lost, of course. No one this year particularly inspires me. That Adam kid is an excellent singer (“Mad World” last night was amazing), as is the 16-year-old Allison (who knew a kid this young could pull off singing a Bonnie Raitt song). But I don’t care who wins … like I said, I think I’m over it. Bound to happen eventually.

“American Idol” is a show I could never watch if I didn’t have TiVO. Seems like the commercial to show ratio is 50-50, which drives me nuts, a situation which, thanks to TiVO, I can rectify. And the judges. Argh. They blather on for three times longer than it took the kids to sing their songs. Paula’s critiques feel endless as she stumbles and gasps after every single word. Randy is practically nonsensical. Kara keeps it pretty short, but who really cares. And Simon … I used to agree with him fairly regularly, but not for many years now. Simon makes about as much sense as Randy and Paula do. Thanks to TiVO, I can zip right past that waste of time.

I can watch a two-hour episode of “American Idol” in about 30 minutes.

And the results shows. God save us from the results shows. There is a firm rule in our house: all group songs by the contestants must be fast-forwarded at 3X speed, the goal being to avoid death by sympathetic embarrassment. Most of the guest singers get the fast-forward as well, what with us being old fogies who seriously don’t get Lady GaGa. All recaps of the previous night and all corny Ford commercials must be avoided as well.

I can watch an “American Idol” results show in under 15 minutes.

Now, doing the math, this puts content which is interesting vs. content which is mind-numbingly boring and/or cringeworthy at a ratio of about 1 to 3. With only a 25 percent return on my entertainment home time investment, it is clear that without the TiVO, I would never have survived past the first season of “American Idol.”

I couldn’t watch most of the other reality shows I watch, if I didn’t have the TiVO, as well. I fail to understand why every segment of the show must begin with a recap of what you saw before the commercial break, a scant four minutes ago. Nor do I understand why every segment must end with a preview of what is coming next, four minutes into the future. It’s truly obnoxious. Attention spans may be getting shorter, but come on now … it can’t be this bad, can it? Non-reality shows do not do this. I think reality shows just need to fill up time and that they believe all their viewers have the mental capabilities of a gnat on crack. I feel sure there are legions of people who would agree with them.

On a different subject, have I mentioned lately that Maggie is just the cutest, best dog ever? She was really good this time home, except for the unfortunate diarrhea incident, but that wasn’t her fault. My mom came over and Maggie didn’t climb all over her the entire time — a miracle. She managed to play pretty well with the neighborhood big dog we’ve been using as socializing practice for the last several months, which means she may eventually get over her fear of big dogs — potential miracle. And she didn’t spend her days going from one no-no spot to another in the house — a miracle, truly.

Hedon says she thinks Maggie is just growing up, and I’m in accord. Maggie is over two years old now. There have been some obvious changes in the last six months.

Speaking of babies growing up, Hedon got to visit with our grandkid for a few hours. Our granddaughter is about 20 months old, and Hedon told me she is most definitely a genius. And that’s that. No arguments allowed. And to make sure the grandkid continues her shockingly rapid cerebral growth, Hedon bought her a train she can ride on, with the alphabet in clear view for her early learning needs. Of course, some of what prompted the purchase was that it makes an ungodly amount of different loud noises and sings alphabet songs, guaranteed to drive our daughter half mad within four hours. All I can say is, payback’s a bitch, kid.

It’s good to be a grandparent.

7 Responses
  1. 2009 April 9
    Belledog permalink

    Glad that you had a good home stay, and that it’s busy again with loads. Happy trails.

    Don’t have TiVo. Rarely watch TV but thinking of catching Six Feet Under, Big Love and other good series via DVD. Agree with you on the no patience on commercials.

    Although I STILL miss this one. GEICO dogs ad. Never tire of it or the music.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHLdJsNBlKc

  2. 2009 April 9

    LOL on the train! Hope it has a very loud whistle! My sister just had her first, lol. She’s so getting tadpoles to ‘grow’, like she sent my kid.

    As for Idol, I so agree. I saw on the news this morning (because Idol is news now) that the blind dude got the boot this week. Then I was glad I didn’t watch. Poor blind dude.

  3. 2009 April 9

    This is the first year I haven’t watched Idol. I just couldn’t get into it.

    Yes, payback to our kids is great. I got my grandson a real drum set when he turned three and I think my granddaughter is almost ready for an Easy-Bake Oven.

  4. 2009 April 9
    Stephen permalink

    “Non-reality shows do not do this.” Mythbusters does it, as do many of the shows on Animal Planet. I’d never be able to watch any of them without my DVR. In fact, I’d given up TV entirely for over a decade until I got a DVR and discovered how much that improved the experience. Watching live TV reminds me of the bad old days without call waiting or voicemail.

  5. 2009 April 10
    limericc permalink

    Hey, it’s MASTERS Week, nothing else exists on tv this week.
    Stay safe.

  6. 2009 April 11

    We are at home now and you are so right about that being the best part of being a truck driver. TV, OMG I can’t believe all the stuff we are missing. And Grand kids, we must be related, because our grand kids are the cuttest, smartess and most amazing kids also. That train thing sounds cute and all those letters to arrange, better watch out, she will be blogging soon..lol…and isn’t great to let them do what ever they want and give them the loudest and billions of pieces toys that we can find then send them back home…lol… and oh yea, load them up on sugar so that they are wired..love it. You all be safe, Brad.

  7. 2009 April 11

    Belledog — I loved “Six Feet Under.” I think it had the best series finale ever. “Oz” and “The Sopranos” are two other favorite HBO series of mine. “The Sopranos” are syndicated on Bravo (I think it’s Bravo), but it’s not the same, what with all the cutting.

    Sheila — Yeah, I felt bad for the blind guy, but he was due. He wasn’t as good as the other contestants, in my opinion. Hmm, tadpoles. What a wonderful idea!

    No. 3699 — Drum set, eh? Will be adding that to our list of future torment-for-daughter, along with the tadpoles.

    Stephen — Oh great, they’ve infected other TV genres with the recap nonsense. Bleh!

    limericc — The Masters, huh? Enjoy! I haven’t watched golf in like, forever, pretty much ever since I gave up any hope of being able to actually play the game. Hedon and I are the suckiest golf players on the planet, a terror to turf everywhere. On the good side, golf is the only game that ever made Hedon lose her temper. She once, in frustration, threw a driver halfway down a par three hole. I laughed until I was sick.

    Brad — Yep, perfect grandchildren seem to be going around these days. Blogging can’t be far away now for ours. She’s got two words at her command — Bye and No. Damned fine start.

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