Easters past — w/special guest

2009 April 11
by Stace

Hoorah! It’s another holiday for me to blather on about. This time, I’ve got a special guest — my mom!

I have a number of extremely important questions about Easters past. You know, those angsty type of questions that just won’t go away, and are likely impeding my ability to become a fulfilled and successful middle-aged woman. My mom has agreed to answer these questions.

When I was a kid, the night before Easter was a time to color and decorate eggs. Easter morning was a time to eat myself half sick on chocolate and Peeps. Easter afternoon was when we went to my grandmother’s house, where all the family gathered for a huge meal, where I continued to stuff myself with candy and whatnot. Before the meal, there was an official Easter egg hunt for all the kids, and a number of unofficial ones as well, after the meal. I think someone may have prayed, my grandmother most likely saying grace, but other than that, Easter wasn’t a religious thing for my family.

"Happy Easter Giant" aka young Stace and "Ingrid" getting ready to be pushed around by the baby on the left.

"Happy Easter Giant" aka young Stace and "Ingrid" getting ready to be pushed around by the baby on the left.

Far too mature for egg hunting

Far too mature for egg hunting

In this first picture here, I am the giant among the little folk at a community Easter egg hunt. I was very tall for my age, and chubby to boot. I don’t know how old I was, probably around four or five. I’m clearly in a fine mood, as I so often was at these sorts of events. God, I was a wuss. I let all the tiny children push me around, so that I rarely got many eggs. My cousin, Ingrid (the cute little girl on the right) was as big a wuss as I was. Probably, that baby on the left snagged more eggs than we did.

In the second picture, I am posing in my grandmother’s back yard. This was the first Easter where I considered myself too old for Easter baskets and other childish silliness. To prove the point, I donned a skirt and pantyhose. Clearly, I am grown up. If the pantyhose don’t prove it, then surely the Holly Hobbie shirt does.

It all looks like the perfect childhood, doesn’t it? But no, there are things … hidden things … for which I must have answers, answers only my mother can provide. So here we go …

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Burning question for Mom #1: I’ve heard rumors on the Internet that there is no Easter Bunny. Is this true?

Mom’s answer: Absolutely not!! I can personally vouch that he/she was alive and well for years around our house. Why do people insist on spreading these vicious rumors?

Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 10

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Burning question for Mom #2: At a time when I’m sure money was tight, what in the world made you decide to spend money on a fancypants Easter outfit for me? The dress, the shoes, the tights, even a little hat sometimes. I mean, it would only be worn once. What was up with that?

Mom’s answer: Had to be a mommy thing — the side that wants to see their little girl all decked out in frilly finery. Sometimes you just need to “hang the expense.” And aren’t we glad now. Look at the cute pictures!

Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 10

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Burning question for Mom #3: When you and my aunt took Ingrid and I to those community Easter egg hunts, did you ever secretly want to give the pushy kids a little shove so Ingrid and I might actually have a chance to find an egg? Maybe just stick out a foot, and trip them, just a bit? What with Ingrid and I being so wussy and all …

Mom’s answer: Yes, if I’m honest, because the pushy bully types always made me seethe. I knew you had to learn to survive with them, but it’s a hard thing to watch as a parent, and maintain your dignity. Secretly, you’d rather be thrashing the parents for failing to teach them better manners. Perhaps that’s part of what’s wrong with our world today.

Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 15

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Burning question for Mom #4: Okay, this is not really about the past, or about me, but … do you really not have a recipe for your diabolically yummy deviled eggs (Hedon’s description, since I’m not into deviled eggs), or are you just holding out on Hedon to try to drive her crazy?

Mom’s answer: I truly don’t, not with amounts, per se. However, on the upside, it is possible that I have an occasional chuckle at Hedon’s frustration!

Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 20

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Burning question for Mom #5: We always had ham at our big Easter dinners. Was this a subtle way of thumbing your noses at the Jews who killed Jesus?

Mom’s answer: Certainly not that I recall. I don’t remember many, if any, Jews being around. And I have to ask if “thumbing your nose” would have much significance if the recipient doesn’t notice or care. Since they don’t believe in Jesus, it follows that they don’t celebrate his ascension. Therefore, no offense taken. About the ham — I always assumed (and it’s true of myself) that most of the family preferred it to any other meat.

Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 10 (would have been more, but since she didn’t scold me for being flippant, as was expected, several points had to be deducted)

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Burning question for Mom #6: Why did you always get me the hollow chocolate Easter Bunnies? My Easter prayer was always for the solid ones. I’m probably emotionally damaged from not getting a foot-high solid chocolate bunny. What do you have to say for yourself?

Mom’s answer: I had no idea you were scarred for life for lack of a solid chocolate bunny. How insensitive!!  I doubt that anything I say can repair that kind of damage. It probably played out that way because I was too cheap to buy the expensive basket — the one with the solid bunny. Well, we’re both paying now — you with emotional turmoil and me with unforgivable guilt.

Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 25

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Burning question for Mom #7: Is there anything else you’d like to add about Easters-past?

Mom’s answer: Only that it was rather sad when you became too old for the baskets and egg hunts. Sort of like all the other occasions that went by the wayside as you moved into the teen years and beyond. There was a closeness of family then, before all of you moved on with your lives and went separate ways.

Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 50

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Whew! That’s all of them. Thank you so very much, Mom. I’m am now well and truly healed, ready to move forward in my life, a stronger, more capable human being.

And may all of you out there have a wonderful, free from emotional turmoil, Easter. Amen.

16 Responses
  1. 2009 April 12
    Belledog permalink

    Happy Easter to Stace, her very wise Mom, and Hedon. And Maggie — watch the chocolate consumption there, pup. Milk Bones for you.

    For Hags and Hagsfans: Washington Post’s annual Peeps diorama contest finalists. Enjoy, with no calories or sticky fingers. And you can vote on your favorite.

    No Peeps at the wheel, but maybe next year.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/gallery/2009/04/10/GA2009041001969.html?hpid=multimedia1&hpv=national

    (includes links to previous years’ Peeps Show and Peeps II)

    Also for our secular holiday: Titanic with Bunnies.

    http://www.angryalien.com/0604/titanicbunnies.html

    Have a good one!

    Yours in chocolate,
    Belledog

  2. 2009 April 12
    Belledog permalink

    Happy Easter all. I put up a comment with 2 links that’s awaiting moderation.

    PS: great family pics, and slice of life from Easters past.

  3. 2009 April 12
    limericc permalink

    You are too funny. Excellent.

  4. 2009 April 12

    Love the pictures, hope you are both having a great Easter. We made it home. Happy egg hunting.

  5. 2009 April 12

    Great pictures – as a child giant, you turned into a totally cute teenager!

    This Q&A was very funny – love your Mom for cooperating – she must be a great lady (I know Hedon thinks so!).

    We’re awaiting the Easter Bunny in Montana. Do they have Easter Bunnies in Montana or do you think I’ll just see a horse/cow/deer/woodland animal wearing bunny ears?

    Hope both of you have a great Easter wherever you are!

    CAPTCHA: campaign prearranged

  6. 2009 April 12

    Stace’s mom is indeed an awesome woman. Except for the hoarding of the deviled-eggly goodness of course. That’s fairly evil.

    But even there she somewhat redeemed herself this time home by teaching me how to make her spectacular scalloped potatoes.

    I guess when you think about how big a hand she had in how great Stace turned out, I should be sending Stace’s mom Thank You notes every other week or so not harrassing her for the secret of the best deviled eggs south of Canada.

    Thanks, Stace’s Mom!

  7. 2009 April 12
    punxxi permalink

    HAPPY EASTER!

  8. 2009 April 13

    Funny! #5 was my favorite. Also loved the link that belledog put out here for the peeps!

  9. 2009 April 14

    Glad ya’ll enjoyed it. Hope you had a good holiday.

    As for my mom, I think she’s the best. Love you, Mom.

  10. 2009 April 14

    Cute post. Could you pleaaaaaase type out the scalloped potato recipe? I’m tormented by the fact that the Bedeviled Egg recipe can’t be reproduced.

    L.

  11. 2009 April 14

    Mom sounds like a smart cookie. (I was gonna say…a good egg…but I thought that would be too corney). I really enjoyed this post. And Easter wasn’t so religious for me either. Candy, egg hunts, lots o’ food…just like you guys.

  12. 2009 April 14

    They make SOLID chocolate bunnies???? I thought they were all hollow… **sob**

    Thanks, Stace’s mom, for the insight into the Mom-side of Easter. Being a mom myself, you’d think I’d know this stuff. Perhaps it’s different when you have a boy.

  13. 2009 April 16
    Belledog permalink

    Hello there. Looked at this post again, and laughed at the captions.

    This was a “greatest hits” post.

    Sent you an email or two recently. Hope you are enjoying this fine, sometimes soggy spring weather. (Going to be a beautiful day in Virginia today. Sun’s bright.)

  14. 2009 April 18
    Belledog permalink

    The Hags and Hagbeagle are MIA. I hate when this happens. No way to treat a blog addict.

    Boobery? Perhaps. A truck breakdown in a small town or isolated community without internet access? Another possibility, and condolences if so. (Would that knock out a Kindle too?)

    A narcotic daze induced by more consumption of heavenly devilish eggs and perfect scalloped potatoes? (You know, the rich ones that don’t just brown and then settle into potatoey flavored hardness, like the ones cooked and served by Belledog last week?)

    A possibility too, and an especially cruel one since no recipe(s) provided for the afore-mentioned suffering blog addicts, who are going uninformed, unentertained, and possibly serving really terrible brown food in your absence.

    (Seriously: hope all is well with everyone, and come back soon.)

  15. 2009 April 21

    Hedon has told me that the scalloped potato recipe is somewhere at home, scrawled on the back of an envelope … somewhere, lying in all the rubbish she piles next to her recliner. She has said she’ll look for it next time we’re home. Perhaps she’ll actually find it. Stranger things have happened.

    I can be of no help, since long ago, in order to save my sanity, I swore never again to dig through her piles of crap looking for things. Now, if I could only figure out how to make myself not see those piles. :-)

  16. 2009 April 22

    Stace,

    I know exactly where the envelope is, Miss SmartyPantsGirl!

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    Everyone else,

    I will be happy to try to post it when we get home. They really did turn out quite good. I was shocked to be honest.

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