Easters past — w/special guest
Hoorah! It’s another holiday for me to blather on about. This time, I’ve got a special guest — my mom!
I have a number of extremely important questions about Easters past. You know, those angsty type of questions that just won’t go away, and are likely impeding my ability to become a fulfilled and successful middle-aged woman. My mom has agreed to answer these questions.
When I was a kid, the night before Easter was a time to color and decorate eggs. Easter morning was a time to eat myself half sick on chocolate and Peeps. Easter afternoon was when we went to my grandmother’s house, where all the family gathered for a huge meal, where I continued to stuff myself with candy and whatnot. Before the meal, there was an official Easter egg hunt for all the kids, and a number of unofficial ones as well, after the meal. I think someone may have prayed, my grandmother most likely saying grace, but other than that, Easter wasn’t a religious thing for my family.
In this first picture here, I am the giant among the little folk at a community Easter egg hunt. I was very tall for my age, and chubby to boot. I don’t know how old I was, probably around four or five. I’m clearly in a fine mood, as I so often was at these sorts of events. God, I was a wuss. I let all the tiny children push me around, so that I rarely got many eggs. My cousin, Ingrid (the cute little girl on the right) was as big a wuss as I was. Probably, that baby on the left snagged more eggs than we did.
In the second picture, I am posing in my grandmother’s back yard. This was the first Easter where I considered myself too old for Easter baskets and other childish silliness. To prove the point, I donned a skirt and pantyhose. Clearly, I am grown up. If the pantyhose don’t prove it, then surely the Holly Hobbie shirt does.
It all looks like the perfect childhood, doesn’t it? But no, there are things … hidden things … for which I must have answers, answers only my mother can provide. So here we go …
Burning question for Mom #1: I’ve heard rumors on the Internet that there is no Easter Bunny. Is this true?
Mom’s answer: Absolutely not!! I can personally vouch that he/she was alive and well for years around our house. Why do people insist on spreading these vicious rumors?
Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 10
Burning question for Mom #2: At a time when I’m sure money was tight, what in the world made you decide to spend money on a fancypants Easter outfit for me? The dress, the shoes, the tights, even a little hat sometimes. I mean, it would only be worn once. What was up with that?
Mom’s answer: Had to be a mommy thing — the side that wants to see their little girl all decked out in frilly finery. Sometimes you just need to “hang the expense.” And aren’t we glad now. Look at the cute pictures!
Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 10
Burning question for Mom #3: When you and my aunt took Ingrid and I to those community Easter egg hunts, did you ever secretly want to give the pushy kids a little shove so Ingrid and I might actually have a chance to find an egg? Maybe just stick out a foot, and trip them, just a bit? What with Ingrid and I being so wussy and all …
Mom’s answer: Yes, if I’m honest, because the pushy bully types always made me seethe. I knew you had to learn to survive with them, but it’s a hard thing to watch as a parent, and maintain your dignity. Secretly, you’d rather be thrashing the parents for failing to teach them better manners. Perhaps that’s part of what’s wrong with our world today.
Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 15
Burning question for Mom #4: Okay, this is not really about the past, or about me, but … do you really not have a recipe for your diabolically yummy deviled eggs (Hedon’s description, since I’m not into deviled eggs), or are you just holding out on Hedon to try to drive her crazy?
Mom’s answer: I truly don’t, not with amounts, per se. However, on the upside, it is possible that I have an occasional chuckle at Hedon’s frustration!
Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 20
Burning question for Mom #5: We always had ham at our big Easter dinners. Was this a subtle way of thumbing your noses at the Jews who killed Jesus?
Mom’s answer: Certainly not that I recall. I don’t remember many, if any, Jews being around. And I have to ask if “thumbing your nose” would have much significance if the recipient doesn’t notice or care. Since they don’t believe in Jesus, it follows that they don’t celebrate his ascension. Therefore, no offense taken. About the ham — I always assumed (and it’s true of myself) that most of the family preferred it to any other meat.
Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 10 (would have been more, but since she didn’t scold me for being flippant, as was expected, several points had to be deducted)
Burning question for Mom #6: Why did you always get me the hollow chocolate Easter Bunnies? My Easter prayer was always for the solid ones. I’m probably emotionally damaged from not getting a foot-high solid chocolate bunny. What do you have to say for yourself?
Mom’s answer: I had no idea you were scarred for life for lack of a solid chocolate bunny. How insensitive!! I doubt that anything I say can repair that kind of damage. It probably played out that way because I was too cheap to buy the expensive basket — the one with the solid bunny. Well, we’re both paying now — you with emotional turmoil and me with unforgivable guilt.
Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 25
Burning question for Mom #7: Is there anything else you’d like to add about Easters-past?
Mom’s answer: Only that it was rather sad when you became too old for the baskets and egg hunts. Sort of like all the other occasions that went by the wayside as you moved into the teen years and beyond. There was a closeness of family then, before all of you moved on with your lives and went separate ways.
Personal healing gained from Mom’s answer (out of 10): 50
Whew! That’s all of them. Thank you so very much, Mom. I’m am now well and truly healed, ready to move forward in my life, a stronger, more capable human being.
And may all of you out there have a wonderful, free from emotional turmoil, Easter. Amen.