Stock blahrket

2009 May 30
by Stace

Stace and Hedon are bouncing their way across the country. Stace is driving and has hit a boring spot in her current audiobook. As is her habit when bored, she calls back to Hedon in the bunk.

Stace: Whatcha doin?

Hedon: Checking my stocks.

Stace thinks, “Bummer,” but says, because she wants to support her partner’s interests: Oh, how’s it going?

Hedon: I’m up pretty good today. QKB and ZDX are up over 10 percent. XQQ will probably hit its stop soon, though, and that’ll be too bad because I really hoped it would go higher.

Stace: Yeah, too bad.

Hedon: I’ve got a couple others on my watch list, though, that look like they’re getting ready to throw a buy signal. If they do, and I get stopped out of XQQ, I’ll have a quick place to park the money.

Stace: Awesome.

Hedon: The great thing about this system is you can watch your watch list of stocks and you can see a buy signal coming, because what I usually use is the pullback.

Stace: Umm hmm.

Hedon: And the pullback works like when a stock has been rising pretty solidly but then it moves back to between its 20 day moving average and its 50 day moving blah blah blah.

Stace begins thinking her book wasn’t all that boring, not really.

Stace: Hmmm.

Hedon: You just blah blah buy candle, like you know a doji or a blah blah blah blah. When it sends the buy candle if the STO has dropped blah blah blah — buy it.

Stace tries to focus on the road, but the center line is wavering as her eyes begin to glaze over.

Stace: Yeah.

Hedon: To decide how many shares to buy, I take the average true range, blah blah blah absolute expression blah blah blah blah volatility of blah blah blah blah. Once I have blah blah blah blah multiply blah blah blah divide blah blah blah risk exposure by blah blah blah blah blah blah shares I should buy of each stock.

Stace whacks herself on her cheeks a few times, trying to regain consciousness.

Hedon: The blah blah blah blah MACD blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah support lines blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah resistance blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah engulfing blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah high beta.

Stace shakes herself vigorously, then steers the truck off the shoulder where she had wandered and figures it’s time to do something, anything, to solve this dangerous problem.

Stace: Oh no. I think there’s something going on with my ears. I’m having a hard time hearing you.

Hedon: What?

Stace: My ears. I can hardly hear you. It’s probably just the altitude. You know, that wind tunnel feeling you can get. Give me a minute or so to see if I can pop my ears.

Hedon: Okay. Sure.

A few minutes later, Stace resumes listening to her audiobook, grateful for the ADD that makes Hedon totally forget she was waiting to continue her conversation. Stace congratulates herself on once again, dutifully supporting her partner’s interests.

12 Responses
  1. 2009 May 30

    This is so wrong that it’s right! ha ha ha! I feel bad laughing at Hedon getting shut out of being able to talk about her stock-o-rama-fest because, you know, she’s one of my Highway Hag Sheroes too…but this is so funny! Sorry Hedon. I start hearing the blah blah blah sometimes with Hellbilly. But not so much ’cause he has all of these interesting things he knows about guitars and music. Unfortunately for him, I just go on and on about, “Oh, and then I was thinking that the horse feed we had last Fall, what was that called, made their poop more round and it could take that one flower we planted, what was that called, in that one flower bed over there, that one, over there, and…
    Poor guy. Poor Stace.

  2. 2009 May 30

    Ah, yes, the ADD to the rescue. That Hedon, though, she is brilliant with the stocks. Got to hand it to her.

  3. 2009 May 30

    Here now, Missy!!

    I’ll have you know I’m going to make us millionaires with that blah blah system as you call it.

    And then I will die. (Because that would be just my luck — to finally make a million dollars and then die)

    And I’ll be all floating around up there waiting for you and watching you and you won’t have a clue what to do next. So I’ll be all yelling down at you, “For god’s sake, Woman, I told you a million times how to set a trailing stop on each stock to protect yourself from a draw-down. Set the stop! Set the stop!! Set the stooooppp!!!”

    But you won’t. Sigh.

  4. 2009 May 30


    I wouldn’t say brilliant. I’m just trying to get my mind around this new system I found. It is working quite well, but unfortunately I can’t really take any of the credit. Fortunately, I can take the cash it’s producing. :)

  5. 2009 May 30
    punxxi permalink

    you’re in oregon? come over for dinner!

  6. 2009 May 30


    We were in Oregon, but now we’re in north CA. Heading down to LA on the I-5 yo-yo. Thanks for the invite though!

  7. 2009 May 30

    MG — LOL. And I’m just certain they never feel the same way about us when we’re talking. Right? Hedon? I never talk about boring stuff, right?

    Decorina — Brilliant? She may be. I don’t know. I’ve never listened long enough to find out. Okay, she is brilliant about other stuff for sure.

    Hedon — You know I’ll just pull all the money out of the blahrket and stick it in a savings account somewhere, then live off the interest. And you would not be floating around up there yelling at me. You’d be all distracted, what with finally being able to fly.

    Punxxi — Bummer. We could have used some good food. It’s hard to find a decent healthy meal out here.

  8. 2009 May 30


    lol, that was a great post! hee-hee-hee

  9. 2009 May 31
    punxxi permalink

    well next time you come to oregon, if you are near coos bay let me know ahead of time…

  10. 2009 May 31

    Boy Stace, I wish I could have your restraint and learn to answer as sweetly as you apparently have. I’d say a good third of the shit that comes out of Ed’s mouth is full of blah-blah-blah’s and after a while, I just can’t listen anymore. I can’t even feign interest. I try, but I can’t. And since he’s from Texas, he can turn the simplest answer into a story that should be told by the fireside.

    I’m sure he’s not too thrilled listening to me either, but I think he has the ability to completely turn off and tune me out. I’m on to him though.

    As for Hedon, she is as brilliant as they come, in my opinion. And I know Ed would LOVE talking to her about stocks because he’s so interested in it. But like I said, I can’t listen long enough to know exactly what about it interests him.

    And Punxxi, if Hedon and Stace can’t make it, I’d be happy to come for dinner. I’ve always wanted to go to the Oregon coast!!!

  11. 2009 June 1
    punxxi permalink

    we have a great gest room…and a bar

  12. 2009 June 1
    punxxi permalink

    guest room, too

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