It’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to

2009 July 9
by Hedon

Hedon’s edit: If you are coming to this post because you went to Google and searched “It’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to” then I’m pretty sure you are looking for the song that was first released in 1963 by Leslie Gore. The song is actually titled “It’s my party” but she does say somewhere in there that it’s a birthday party that she’s having when that danged Judy prances in wearing Johnny’s ring. She’d probably be better off without him anyway, but he comes back and all is well in the follow-up hit “Judy’s Turn to Cry.” Anyway, hope this helps. Have a good one.

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Luckily I don’t want to. Cry, that is. Well maybe a sniffle or two. Nah, I’m just kidding. I’m totally cool with being 44 and all. At least I think I am. Wait… self-diagnostic moment… yeah, I’m cool with it.

Oh sure the body is falling apart, but it’s been heading downhill for so long that it’s kinda turned into an exciting adventure. Will there be a new ache or pain this week? Or, oh my, what about a weird new skin blotch — that would be exciting.

As exciting as the body’s ongoing ride-on-rails into the depths of decrepitness is, the brain is unfortunately still firing on all cylinders. Oh yeah, Fernando is still smokin hot. Let’s just examine what he’s come up with in the past year:

Finally figured out the old saying, “A stitch in time saves nine.” Now you have to understand that this saying was created back in the day long before I hit the scene. So while the meaning was probably instantly obvious to those old-timey ladies who did sewing and such, I am of the Star Trek generation. So I always thought they were talking about somehow making some sort of alteration in the Space-Time Continuum. I always wondered if you did somehow manage to make “a stitch” in the time-stream of the Universe what were you going to save nine of? Nine minutes? Nine years? Nine months? Nine alternate realities? Nine possible past existences?

Oh it was all such a mystery. Then one day a couple of months ago I looked down at this purple t-shirt I have that has a rip in the sleeve. It started out as a tiny little hole but by this point it was a massive rip. Fernando actually said, “Damn I should have sewn that up when it was still small” and the sounds of angels singing started right above my head.  A stitch — in time — saves nine stitches later. Ohhhh… I get it now. Good job, dude.

Then there was the time when I thought…. nope that’s pretty much the only brain breakthrough I’ve had this year. Gosh upon reflection that seems kinda sad. Nah… not really. I’m cool with that. I’d say my 44th year was quite a success. Can’t wait to see what crazy new ideas pop up this year. I hope it’s something like “blue is a color” or “ice cream is creamy yet icy” or something equally profound.

16 Responses
  1. 2009 July 9
    Belledog permalink

    44 is in the rearview mirror too.

    But it looks good on you, Hedon, and hope your year is filled with happiness and success and new challenges. Happy Birthday.

  2. 2009 July 9

    Hippo birdie two ewe.

  3. 2009 July 9

    Happy birthday, Hedon! Having rounded the corner on 47 and entering the straightaway towards 48, I have to say that I too found the slow crumbing of my body somewhat fascinating. Then big things started going wrong and I realized that I had to start doing something about it. Blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetes (my family doesn’t die of cancer – we die of heart/stroke problems) raised their ugly heads in my 45th year and I’ve been working my way back to wellness ever since. As of now, everything is normal on meds and my goal is to be normal WITHOUT meds. Pretty much, that means dump 80 lbs off my frame and by the time I’m 50, I’ll be good to go for another 45 or more. If our hearts don’t kill us, we live a remarkably long time.

    You and Stace have had your wakeup calls. You can do this too!

  4. 2009 July 9

    Happy birthday to you madame! Hope it’s been fantastic!
    And, uh, you mean that stitch in time thing has nothing to do with altering time? Shit!

  5. 2009 July 9
    Chaos permalink

    Happy Birthday Mom/Grandma (hahahaha)!!! Kiddo and I hope that you have had a pleasant birthday. Its kinda cool that you actually got to be at home on your birthday for once. : )

    Just wanted to say Congratulations. You are one year closer to being the crotchety old lady on the outside that you have long since been at heart. (That sounded so much better in my head. Feel free to scramble words until it makes sense. Keep in mind that it is a compliment, ok?)

    Kiddo and I hope that you someday reach your crotchety old age, but I am more than happy to wait awhile, before I have to change your diapers too. (Lol!!) One crazy person in diapers is enough for now.

    Sorry we weren’t able to call you. I’ve been working on getting Kiddo to say Happy Birthday, but right now it just sounds like “Hbbblthen bibby”. Maybe by the time we see you.

    Anyway, “Happy Birthday” Mom, and thank you SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOO much for being born!

    Hugs and Kisses,
    Chaos and Kiddo

  6. 2009 July 10

    hey! happy belated!!….better late than not at all, i’m thinkin!….hope you had a grand day and lots more of them ahead!…happy birthday from your fellow crab….i just hit the big 55 on june 22……be safe

    brad says happy birthday!!

  7. 2009 July 10
    punxxi permalink

    Happy Birthday….lets put this 44 thang into perspective, shall we? I don’t even remember 44, hell my oldest kid is pushin’ 43 so that makes you a young fart in my book! hohoho 8 months to go( social security time yay a paycheck again)

  8. 2009 July 10

    They say it’s your birthday. Well it’s my birthday too!

    No, really, I turn 44 tomorrow.

    Have a good one!

    • 2009 July 10
      Chaos permalink

      Happy Birthday Anna! (or happy-almost-birthday. )

  9. 2009 July 12

    Happy Belated Birthday!!! According to my mother-in-law you’re still just a baby, at least that’s what she tells James and me (he’ll turn 44 next month). Well, she tells us that until she starts trying to get us to attend church then we’re practically ancient but that’s a whole ‘nother story, lol.

    I’m enjoying the hell out of 40 (just not the gray hairs) but then again people have told me that I’m kinda weird, LOL. Had to listen to a bunch of 37-39 year olds last month at my niece’s birthday party moan and groan about the impending 4-0 and all I could was just grin at them. I’m not sure what’s going to be so drastically different in their lives at that point. For me, it meant a new age group with 2 chances to place in races (masters and age group awards, woo-hoo!).

  10. 2009 July 13

    Thanks guys!

    I’m totally cool with getting older even if I am still a young punk in the grand scheme of things. It’s only a matter of time. :)

    Besides I had a good haul of presents so it was a good one.

    Happy birthday to you, Anna!

  11. 2009 July 13

    I came by on your birthday to leave a comment and I got all distracted and never got around to leaving one. But, Happy Birthday to you from me and Eddie! Did you ever get my text message on your birthday? We “sang” via text for you!

    Hope it’s a great year for you!!

    Salena & Eddie

    • 2009 July 19

      Sigh… apparently I still haven’t managed to figure out the texting thing. I tried to send you a reply but it obviously didn’t go through. Maybe I’ll have the LittleOne explain it next month when I see her.

  12. 2009 July 20
    Chaos permalink

    I am so confused. Sometimes I’m the YoungOne, and sometimes I’m the LittleOne, and sometimes my daughter is either one of those too. Of course to me she is Kiddo.

    Arrgh!

    ; )

    • 2009 July 20

      Sigh! You are never the LittleOne. You are always the YoungOne… or sometimes TheKid… and occasionally you are things we can’t type on here but not that last one for quite a long time now. :)

      I meant I’d have the Kiddo explain it to me. :)

      • 2009 July 20
        Chaos permalink

        uh… mother dearest… I’m not sure she knows how to text yet… but maybe you two can figure it out together. …. I love you. : )

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