Long live the “Fit for Life” plan
We got home last Monday afternoon and naturally I had to get on the scale within 5 minutes of walking in the door. I mean seriously what were the odds that I was going to be able to wait until the next morning? I was just proud of myself that I remembered last month and vowed to not hold a grudge or get all crazy smack-down on the scale no matter what it said. As an added reminder to not take the number too seriously, I even kept my shoes on as I hopped up on the scale.
“372″ Are you serious?! I mean a whole month of grilled chicken breasts and not one pound lost? You lying little punk, you are so headed straight for the river if you don’t have a serious change of heart by tomorrow morning. Fair warning, punk. Then, thanks to my obvious mental superiority over the scale, I put it completely out of my mind until the next morning.
That moment of reckoning came soon enough. I girded on my battle gear (boxers) and trotted up the hall to the mist-covered field of engagement at the crack of noon the next morning. Stepped up and waited while the little digital display whirled. “367″ Are you serious? I mean come on… 5 damn pounds… in four damn weeks?! Grilled chicken breasts. Steamed veggies. Huge salads. Carrot sticks for god’s sake – carrot sticks! 5 pounds?! I was a little peeved. Yeah, I think peeved would best describe it.
Then the love of my life had yet another in her long string of brilliant ideas. She decided that what we had been doing wasn’t going to work for me and we should try a different approach. I mean let’s be honest… I’m not going to count calories. I’m just not going to do it. Oh I start out ok, but after a couple of weeks it just gets mind-numbing and hideous and I slide into “oh that’s probably about 1,200 calories today” based on pulling numbers out of my ass I guess.
When faced with the five-pounds-in-four-weeks evidence of sub-standard-calorie-counting on my part, Stace came up with a great game plan. She suggested I go back to the “Fit for Life” plan which is the only diet plan that has ever worked for me in the past. Hurrah! I switched plans first thing Tuesday morning.
Ahh… good old “Fit for Life” plan… I’ve got to be honest and say that the science the plan is based on seems to me to be kinda voodoo crazy, but I know for a fact that it works for my body. It didn’t work at all for Stace that time we both tried it, but my body reacted like a house on fire. It has been more than a decade since I read the book, but I’ll try to describe some of the main rules of the plan for you. I’m sure there are a lot of little fiddley nit-picky rules that I’m forgetting, but here are the main points as I remember them:
- When you get up you eat nothing but fruit for about four hours. Fresh fruit if at all possible. The reasoning for this is that fruit eaten on an empty stomach zooms through your system, gives you lots of energy, and exits the works in short order. I believe he said fruit leaves your stomach in about twenty minutes so he was all for eating as much fruit as you wanted all morning long. I can do that. I like most fruits. Stace hated this part cause she’s not a big fan of the fruit.
- For lunch you can eat any quantity and any combination of veggies. If that isn’t going to cut it for you then add some sort of carb like maybe a piece of bread or a potato or something. You can eat any sized carb something, but the veggie portion of your lunch has to be 70% of the meal.
- For supper you have a choice to make. The veggies are still going to be 70% of the meal, but now for the 30% portion you can choose between another carb or a protein depending on what you’re in the mood for. Again, you can eat whatever you want. If you want to eat an 18 ounce t-bone that’s cool… course you’d have to eat a mixing bowl full of salad to cover the required 70/30 ratio but that’s your choice. I call it “piper-paying” but that’s just me.
- Try to avoid chemicals. Tend toward minimally processed foods. Try to use real foods like butter instead of margarine and such. Avoid salt. Avoid diet coke. Blah blah blah. If in doubt about some food or menu choice try to channel a tree-hugging earth-loving vegan lesbian type person.
The important thing to remember is that you never eat carbs and proteins at the same meal. The carb/protein portion of any meal should never be more than 30% with the rest of the meal being veggies. And you only eat fruit alone and on an empty stomach. So if it’s been at least five hours since you last ate you can have any quantity of fruit as a snack at any time.
Do you see what I’m saying here? No calorie counting. No futzing. No fiddling. Seriously easy rules. Perfect for me. And I once lost 29 pounds on this plan in 30 days. Unfortunately then I woke up one morning and forgot I was on the diet and didn’t remember for three days so by then I had kinda blown it and didn’t get back on the wagon again but that’s not the point here. The point is that I was excited to give it a whirl again. So I started with a bang on Tuesday.
This morning I decided to do a quick spot check of results over the last five days. Stepped up on the scale first thing and waited on the whirling display. “359″ Are you KIDDING ME?!! Eight pounds in five days?! That’s what I’m talking about! So in one month of half-hearted calorie counting I lost five pounds but in five days of crazy-science “Fit for Life” plan living I was never once hungry and lost eight pounds. Well that just kicks ass. I love crazy voodo made-up faulty-logic science.
I think I’m going to like this new routine.