Some days, the heart’s not in it

2009 July 18
by Stace

Stace and Hedon have stupidly allowed themselves to be trapped at a company terminal. Because they were unprepared to be trapped, they have limited choices of food available to them until tomorrow afternoon.

Hedon: I checked in the lounge. Domino’s and a Chinese food place will deliver here.

Stace: Hmm. Not good. The Chinese food could be really sucky, and Domino’s, well, it’s not the best choice for us.

Hedon: Yeah. I don’t see what else we could do though.

Stace: We do have some of those Nutri-System entrees in the cabinet. We could eat those.

Hedon stares blankly at Stace. Then both begin to laugh uproariously at once.

Hedon (after getting her breath back): Good one.

Stace: Thought you’d like it.

Hedon: So … Domino’s tonight and Chinese tomorrow?

Stace: Yep. Nothing to be done about it. We’ve got to eat, and we’re trapped here.

Hedon: What do you want?

Stace: Oh, get me some of their hot wings. I can pick off the skins and just eat the meat.

Hedon: Is that it?

Stace: And a small supreme thin crust. I’ll eat the toppings. What are you gonna get?

Hedon: Small veggie pizza. And I’d better get a salad. You want a salad?

Stace (sighs): All right. Get me a damned salad. A simple side salad. Not one of those huge ones. I think I might puke if I have to eat a big one.

Hedon calls Domino’s and places the order.

Hedon (speaking into phone): Yep, that’ll do it. Oh wait, we also need two salads. We don’t need dressing … huh? … really? … you don’t? …

Hedon turns to Stace with an expression of glee.

Hedon: Oh my god. They don’t have any salads!

Stace (clapping): Hurrah!

Hedon: I know! Hurrah!

Stace: Nothing to be done about it.

Hedon: Nope nothing.

Hedon (speaking into phone again): So, uh, sorry about that. Um, yeah, so, what I said before, that’ll be all then. Thanks! For not having salads! Hahahahaha.

Hedon hangs up and turns to Stace.

Hedon: I think that woman thinks I’m insane.

Stace: It’s all the salad we’ve been eating. It’s known to cause mental illness in fast food junkies. Good thing they didn’t have any, or think how much worse we would be.

Hedon: All I know is, nothing to be done about it.

Stace: Absolutely nothing.

10 Responses
  1. 2009 July 18
    Chaos permalink

    Fit for life be darned!

    you two have all the luck.

    xoxo

  2. 2009 July 19
    Anonymous permalink

    and they say they are all about the driver at this company…and then you have the places you are forced to order food from…i feel so sorry for you all…you should have been here with us this weekend..food everywhere…

    • 2009 July 19

      OMG! Before I forget… the Chinese joint that delivers to Olive Branch is EXCELLENT!

      We had Moo Goo Gai Pan, Curry Singapore Mei Fun, Garlic Broccoli, and Chicken on a Stick and everything was extremely tasty. The servings were so big that we ended up eating it for lunch and dinner.

      Plus they bring it right to your truck so you don’t have to go in the driver’s lounge and pretend like you like TWMNBN while you wait for them to show up.

  3. 2009 July 19
    Anonymous permalink

    oh, by the way..the last comment i left anonymous because we work at the same company..you know…www.mfullershit.com…hang in there

    • 2009 July 19

      Hahahaha! What about ‘www.industryleadermyass.com’?

  4. 2009 July 20
    Belledog permalink

    Like the new logo very much!

    And hear you on being “saladed out.” But good on both of you for the progress so far.

  5. 2009 July 22

    Hi Girls …yeah I love the new logo and byline , “we drive ..and blah …etc etc” LOL. Maggie’s pic on the side of the truck is a nice touch. Is it possible that when you buy your own truck that …..? One day maybe I’ll be on I-5 heading north for Sacramento and see a purple semi rolling by with Mag’s face on the door.

    About the salad: I understand. My oldest has come back from college to live with me and she’s stuffing me left and right with huge bowls of “salad” and though it’s very very good, the brocolli is starting to taste like astroturf and for goodness sakes, where does this girl find twenty kinds of lettucy looking weeds? I think she and the 16 year old are taking their job of “getting mom healthy” a little bit too serious. They’ll drive me to a Jack-in-the-Box sneak way soon enough.

  6. 2009 July 23
    Chaos permalink

    Hey mom, I was just wondering… do you know that your “We drive…etc” sounds like the start to the Itchy and Scratchy Show?

    … We drive, and blah, and drive and blah and drive…. the itchy and scratchy show….

    Can you hear it?

  7. 2009 July 23

    Glad y’all like the new logo. Thx!

    And Chaos, congrats, you got the injoke. Your mom did indeed have the Itchy and Scratchy song from “The Simpsons” in her head when she did the “We drive and blah” thing. It was a little joke for me.

    Of course, it makes sense you got it, too. What with having spent the vast majority of your youth watching “The Simpsons” at every evening meal, well, you’re a natural. :-)

  8. 2009 July 24
    Chaos permalink

    Yay! I actually got the joke for once! Btw did you know you can watch the simpsons on hulu? now i never miss a new episode!

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