Some days, the heart’s not in it
Stace and Hedon have stupidly allowed themselves to be trapped at a company terminal. Because they were unprepared to be trapped, they have limited choices of food available to them until tomorrow afternoon.
Hedon: I checked in the lounge. Domino’s and a Chinese food place will deliver here.
Stace: Hmm. Not good. The Chinese food could be really sucky, and Domino’s, well, it’s not the best choice for us.
Hedon: Yeah. I don’t see what else we could do though.
Stace: We do have some of those Nutri-System entrees in the cabinet. We could eat those.
Hedon stares blankly at Stace. Then both begin to laugh uproariously at once.
Hedon (after getting her breath back): Good one.
Stace: Thought you’d like it.
Hedon: So … Domino’s tonight and Chinese tomorrow?
Stace: Yep. Nothing to be done about it. We’ve got to eat, and we’re trapped here.
Hedon: What do you want?
Stace: Oh, get me some of their hot wings. I can pick off the skins and just eat the meat.
Hedon: Is that it?
Stace: And a small supreme thin crust. I’ll eat the toppings. What are you gonna get?
Hedon: Small veggie pizza. And I’d better get a salad. You want a salad?
Stace (sighs): All right. Get me a damned salad. A simple side salad. Not one of those huge ones. I think I might puke if I have to eat a big one.
Hedon calls Domino’s and places the order.
Hedon (speaking into phone): Yep, that’ll do it. Oh wait, we also need two salads. We don’t need dressing … huh? … really? … you don’t? …
Hedon turns to Stace with an expression of glee.
Hedon: Oh my god. They don’t have any salads!
Stace (clapping): Hurrah!
Hedon: I know! Hurrah!
Stace: Nothing to be done about it.
Hedon: Nope nothing.
Hedon (speaking into phone again): So, uh, sorry about that. Um, yeah, so, what I said before, that’ll be all then. Thanks! For not having salads! Hahahahaha.
Hedon hangs up and turns to Stace.
Hedon: I think that woman thinks I’m insane.
Stace: It’s all the salad we’ve been eating. It’s known to cause mental illness in fast food junkies. Good thing they didn’t have any, or think how much worse we would be.
Hedon: All I know is, nothing to be done about it.
Stace: Absolutely nothing.