What a blow
I had a devastating realization last night.
You know how I have long been demanding the jet-packs we were promised when we were kids? I mean we were supposed to be leaving the house every morning, strapping on our jet-packs and flying off to work or school or whatever. I’m quite sure that in the early seventies we were all certain that this would be a common place thing by 2000 but by 2010 at the very latest.
So mostly I have spent the last 40 years waiting patiently for my damned jet-pack. Well until the past few years when I have started to get more vocal about demanding what we were promised. Demanding to know where my damned jet-pack was. I was thinking about it again last night while I was thinking how fun it would be to fly around over Memphis in the middle of the night.
That’s when the awful truth hit me. Even if they finally get off their lazy asses and get around to inventing jet-packs we won’t be able to use them. Think about it. The whole point of the jet-pack is that they are a couple of jets of some sort that are located on some sort of backpack arrangement. Then you have a couple of arms that come around your sides to the front which is where the controls are located. But here’s the problem. All that exhaust and hot whatever-the-hell that is going to shoot out the bottom of the jets to provide the upward thrust is going to come shooting out right toward your ass. And it’s likely going to be all flames and stuff.
That has got to hurt. And if you have one of those great big butts like I do, you’ll probably stop up the opening or something and never even be able to get off the ground. Man that sucks! I was seriously hoping to jet over to pick up some more BBQ if they had recently invented jet-packs without my knowing it and a traveling jet-pack salesman happened to stop by the motel with a model for sale later this afternoon.
Now it wouldn’t even matter if he did stop by with a recently invented jet-pack available for immediate possession. Still couldn’t fly around in the middle of the night. Stupid thermodynamics. Stupid Newton. Stupid physics. Wonder how that flying vampire thing all the authors are writing about really works?