Going home too soon

2009 September 21
by Stace

So, we’re supposed to be going home in the next few days. You know what that means — the weigh in. I am most definitely not looking forward to it.

While I’ve been pretty good at holding down the carbs because of the damnable diabetes, the calorie-counting has been going … well … hey, I’ve spent a lot of time tired, and hanging around skeezy motel rooms, and I’ve been bored, and, and, and … I can’t think of any more excuses. Crap. I suck.

Every day I give myself a good talking-to, swearing I will once again scrupulously count all the perfidious calories I consume, and I will, I say I WILL keep that count below 1500. And every day, I stop counting after lunch. This is not to say that I’ve been going on some mad 3,000 calorie a day spree. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll focus on the positive. At least I didn’t eat 5,265 calories today. Hoorah for me!

Sad.

This is what the real shits is about dieting. When you’re following all the rules and losing weight, you’re a genius, you walk around thinking that this time you’re really going to do it, you are a freak of self-control so wondrous you could join the X-men (name: Dietronica).

When you are not following all the rules and feel pretty sure that stepping on the scale won’t be the power boost Dietronica needs to survive, everything goes in the crapper.

Well, I’ll know soon enough what I have wrought over the past five weeks. I don’t remember the last time I dreaded going home. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever dreaded going home.

Damn, I hate getting my comeuppance!

7 Responses
  1. 2009 September 21

    While I’m reading this, I’m drinking a Diet Coke and eating Wheat Thins with extra sharp cheddar slices on them. I’m thinking you’re probably doing a whole lot better with the calorie counting than I am! I look forward to your weigh-in report!

  2. 2009 September 21

    We all have good days and bad days (sometimes weeks). I still think the under 1500 calories per day is a bit low. Do you know if your insurance will cover a nutritionist visit? It might be worth it if it does. In my opinion, doctors don’t always give the best advice when it comes to healthy, balanced diets that you can live with. They just have a set formula and think it works for everybody when it doesn’t. Loving the Dietronica super-hero image!

  3. 2009 September 21
    punxxi permalink

    Have you ever had your thyroid checked? The claim is that many woman have poorly working thyroids. Since I don’t think I have hever had mine checked and don’t care if they do, I have started taking 200 mg of selenium a day, that kinda boosts the thyroid and helps you lose ( or not gain) weight …it works yay!

  4. 2009 September 22

    The only diet that ever worked for me: relationship break-up. Highly NOT recommended. Can’t have everything.

  5. 2009 September 23

    (sigh) I have no thyroid left, the aliens took it out last February. And the doctors (seriously) told me the extra weight would come off much better since the thyroid meds would be more kind to me than the ex-thyroid.

    I am stuck in the mud and can’t seem to do anything but barely maintain what I lost previously. I think you’re doing wonderfully to have 3,000 calories be the “splurging, runaway” point. My newest plan is to try and make 2,500 cals. be the sinful end of my experiences – and hopefully that won’t have much more sin than a Subway sandwich (love it) that’s filled with pretty good stuff.

    I should be taking in no more than 1700-1900 at 5″5 …plus exercising.

    Hang in there!

  6. 2009 September 24

    Hey, I like Dietronica too! I read another blog by Diet Girl-she’s a 30 yr old Aussie, living in Scotland. She was 351 lbs and lost half of it over about 6 yrs. She went through a lot of what you write about. And, she’s funny, touching, and down to earth. She even wrote a great book about it. The version that sold in Britain had a red haired girl in a super hero costume.

    Hang in there, you’re doing great!

  7. 2009 September 25

    Yeah, get your thyroid checked. They took half of mine out (I wouldn’t let them have the whole thing) and I started taking Armour thyroid. Haven’t lost any weight yet, but I need to change my diet. Also I have never heard that selenium boosts thyroid production – but I did find that Iodoral (iodine) does.

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