Comeuppance? Not so much

2009 September 30
tags: , ,
by Stace

I arrived home last week in something of a bad mood. There’d been an excessive amount of boobery involved in getting us home, and I knew that once I got there I wouldn’t have a television to watch.

We’ve got too many trees around our house, and they’re blocking our satellite signal. Last time home, they’d gotten so leafy that I couldn’t get any channels at all the last day of hometime (had been able to get only about 20 channels, but it was better than nothing). I expected nothing when I got home.

But surprise! When I turned on the TV in a moment of what I considered to be some seriously pathetic hopefulness, I was rewarded with a picture. Man, was I happy. Oh sure, I’m paying for a shitload of channels and am only able to actually receive about 20, but I will take those 20 gladly.

I was so pleased by this turn of events that I decided to go ahead and hop on the scale, even though it was early evening and I’d just eaten a big steak at Outback. Miracle of miracles, and after all the shenanigans of last month on the road, I had managed to lose some weight –

Four pounds.

I was and still am excited about that. Four pounds lost over nearly six weeks isn’t that much, but compared to what I was fearfully expecting, it’s a huge number.

So anyway, those four pounds brings my total up to 37 pounds lost in about four months. I’m happy.

I’m happy because I’m not in that big of a hurry. I want to find something I can live with, for the long haul. I hate the expression, but … “I want to change my relationship with food.” If that can ever happen, it will take a very, very long time.

I didn’t get a chance to respond to the comments on my last post about my diet (I don’t do 24k dial-up), but I did want to respond to the comments about my thyroid. About 10 years ago I had it checked. Yeah, the numbers were a little off, so I was put on some medication. After about 4-5 months of taking the meds, I didn’t feel any differently, nor did it make any difference in my weight, so I took myself off it.

Right now, I’m on three different medications: Metformin, Lovastatin and Lisinopril. I don’t think I could stand to add any more to that list. If I find myself in the situation where I am dieting faithfully and my weight is not budging, I would probably consider getting my thyroid tested. Until then, three meds a day is the limit.

You know, this whole deal of only weighing once every five weeks or so has worked out fabulously. In the past, I’ve always weighed every day, mainly because I couldn’t stand not to check. And what with fluctuations and plateaus and the like, it would be very frustrating not to see daily results on the scale. It was this frustration which would eventually lead to my quitting the diets.

Weighing once every five weeks has, so far, removed that frustration. Sure, four pounds over the course of more than five weeks means I lost less than a pound a week, which isn’t so great, but surprisingly, it doesn’t seem so bad when you’re standing on the scales and the number is four pounds less than the last time you weighed. Logically, I know the number isn’t that great, but the illogical part of me is celebrating, “Yippee! Four pounds!” Bless that silly, illogical side.

That day last week when I came home to two pieces of good news and better luck, I wish I had dashed down to the store and bought a lottery ticket. It was clearly my day.

10 Responses
  1. 2009 September 30

    Crap. I just wrote a whole comment and lost it. Let me try to recreate it.

    Yay!!! Four pounds!!! Woo Hoo!

    Four pounds is better than nothing. And like Ed says, “Slow and steady wins the race.” He always uses that when I want to drive faster and he doesn’t. He says that we’ll get there either way….no sense in wearing out our equipment.

    Same for you – you’ll get there. You didn’t put the weight on overnight and it’s not going to come off overnight. OK, I know I sound like an idiot saying that. Like some rah-rah cheerleader who says all these dopey things….but it’s encouraging when someone says stuff like that….even if you don’t do it. I know when I’m trying to lose weight (which I’m not right now cause I’m slacking), my friend Vicki ALWAYS says all sorts of supportive stuff which makes me think I can do it. And sometimes, I do and have.

    But either way – four pounds is progress. You have years of habit to undo and like you said, “change your relationship with food”. I need to change my relationship with food too but right now I seem to be in the throes of a torrid affair.

    Although yesterday, Ed made me an offer I almost can’t refuse…..he said if I lost 60 pounds by January 1st, he’d give me $10,000.00.

    I’m not really all that sure I want (or can) end my affair. There’s something wrong with me, right?? LOL

    • 2009 October 1

      Thanks for the words of encouragement — always glad to get them. About that offer from Ed — you’ve only got three months to do it? Damn, that ain’t much time. Still … 10 grand. Tell him if you lose that much weight that fast you’ll just gain it right back in no time flat; see if he’ll agree to six months instead. :-)

  2. 2009 September 30
    Marcus permalink

    Hey at least you’re losing and congrats!… I’m starting to gain and its killing me. I’m such a fuckwit. I was going to get you the number for the tree trimmer and I totally forgot…. Next time you’re home please kick my ass if I don’t do it.

    • 2009 October 1

      Hey there, Marcus! I didn’t notice that you’d gained any weight. I thought you looked good. And don’t worry about the number for the tree trimmer. I think we’ll just wind up getting DirecTV down there to move the dish. Eventually.

  3. 2009 September 30

    My theory on weigh-in’s . . . “Pee’d, Poo’d and nude!” Less to weigh . . . if you’ve really gotta do it. I find the tightwad side of my nature that says, “You’re going to have to buy new pants lardarse if ya put on anymore!” tends to keep things in synch! Congrats on the 4 pounds . . . and not having to buy new pants :)

    • 2009 October 1

      Ha! Good point on the pants. I have, however, managed to reclaim some pants I had … er … outgrown, and am wearing them as I type this. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that I’m recycling.

  4. 2009 October 1

    i will take 4 lbs. lost over 4 gained any day!!….any loss is great and after the time you guys had last time out, i think that’s great!!…good work!….as far as changing your relationship with food, i need to do that too…but i honestly don’t know how….i remember years ago when i took care of my aunt who was dying of cancer, the nite she passed, my husband finally took my arms and held me tight, he said i was just blindly opening and closing kitchen cabinet doors, looking for something to “comfort” me……back during those days she and i used to watch some of the soap operas and i was always in awe of the characters who, when faced with their everyday crisis’s, couldn’t be coaxed to take in even a morsel of food….me???…just don’t get between me and the refridgerator… do you change that????….i really admire all the hardwork you and hedon are doing!……attagirls!!

    • 2009 October 1

      That’s a good question, RuthAnn. Me, I eat when I’m sad, happy, bored, mad, whatever. Food is both consolation and celebration for me. Like you, I wonder how in the world I can change that. Makes me want to write a whole post about it. I think I will.

      • 2009 October 3

        Stace…please do write that post. I think I’d find it very interesting. Like RuthAnn said, it really is hard to make that change. And like you, food is both consolation and celebration…although I do find myself celebrating with food more than consoling. I’m not one to have a bad day and hit the Ben & Jerry’s container. I just enjoy food soooo much – cooking it, reading about it, looking at it, smelling it, thinking about it, wondering what I’ll eat next and oohhh, I can’t wait to make that Italian Sausage I bought…and all that…I really feel like such a big part of who I am would be missing if I took the element of all that food out of my life.

        Write that post! It might inspire me to do the same.

  5. 2009 October 2

    Great job! I am impressed…think I’ll try the “once every five week” weigh in too.

    And I am sure that I eat with my heart on my sleeve.

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