Boo that’s sweet
Okey-dokey. It’s Halloween, so you know what that means. Time for me to write another post about another holiday which I not only know nothing about, but which I also have no desire to learn about. I am, of course, willing to ramble. And aren’t all our lives just a bit better because of it?
The important thing about Halloween isn’t where it came from, or if it draws Satan into our realm, or if it makes Daffy Duck cry in frustration because he couldn’t get a Bugs Bunny costume. The important thing is that it’s the holiday where you get shitloads of candy. Or at least, you used to — back when I was a kid. I don’t know what children do these days. Eat a piece of fruit and watch a video in which other kids dress up and go trick-or-treating?
My best memory of Halloween is that one house out of the dozens and dozens I visited every year, handed out full-sized candy bars. I’m not kidding. They gave all the kids a regular-sized Hershey’s bar.
I thought those people must have been the richest, kindest, loveliest human beings ever created. They were like from some alternative reality, sent specially to us on Halloween to give us reason to believe in a world where we, too, could be rich and powerful in the ways of chocolate bars.
I fully expect this to disgust my mother. Can’t blame her. I mean, some family gives me a chocolate bar and that’s my best memory? WTF? My mother used to slave over my costumes every year. She made them herself, and she was damned good. I remember one bunny costume that was so awesome, I’m surprised it didn’t lead to her starting a costume business.
But like I said before, this holiday was all about the candy. Sorry, Mom. Thanks for the costumes, though. For what it’s worth, I used to feel badly for the poor children who went trick-or-treating shrouded in old, stained bedsheets, peering out through drunkenly-cut, raw-edged eye holes, calling out their pathetic little “Boos!” and “I’m a ghost!” Surely that’s some consolation.
I don’t think those kids, themselves, felt all that badly about their slapdash costumes, though. They were in it for the candy, too. And they most assuredly knew where the Hershey’s bar house was located.