Unemployed bum update

2009 December 5
by Hedon

So we’ve been unemployed bums for a few weeks now and it’s way past time for an update. Where to start on all the doings…

Well first of all we are still deliriously happy to be out of the evil clutches of USXpress (aka TWMNBN… who can now be named for obvious reasons) and I, for one, haven’t regretted quitting for one instant. Stace goes through momentary pangs of doubt about the wisdom of quitting in the midst of the worst economy in generations but really I’m pretty sure she isn’t sorry we quit, either.

We still haven’t got serious about moving forward on buying our own truck, but that’s not really a big deal. It’s been two and a half years since we had a vacation so mostly we’ve just been puttering around the house. We’ve watched a ton of really crappy tv that never seems to make the cut when we only have a few hours available a month for tv watching.

I managed to catch the annual Punkin Chunkin competition this year. I really expected that to be more interesting. I mean they are building air cannons, trebuchets, catapults and whatnot to fling pumpkins as far as possible. There’s the ideas behind the design, the construction of the machines, the timing of the release, the physics of the fling… how exciting, right? Not really. I mean it was pretty cool to see working trebuchets since they haven’t really been used since they were being used to ram castle walls back in medieval days. And if we’re going to be completely honest even back in the day they could have probably done more damage to the folk in the castle if the marauding hordes had just rubbed some blankets all over their pox-ridden bodies and flung those blankets over the walls. I mean that’s how whitey ended up kicking the Native American butt after all. Anyway back to the point… the punkin chunkin wasn’t all that one might have hoped.

***SPOILER ALERT***     ***SPOILER ALERT***

The air cannons just blew the rest of the pack away. Oh no… I might have blown the ending for anyone who TiVo’d it this year but hasn’t watched it yet… I should add a spoiler alert… be right back. Okay… that’s better. So yeah anyway… the air cannons killed every other category. It was kinda sucky cause they shoot the pumpkins out so fast you can’t even track them through the air. A couple tosses were pretty cool though when they had the pressure too high and the instant the pumpkin left the barrel it exploded into a million pieces. The best part of that was the announcer saying, “Oh, now that’s a real shame, Bill. The Young Guns team just pied their pumpkin.” I mean honestly… ‘pied their pumpkin’ that’s just funny right there. And sort of exciting I suppose.

That’s not the only exciting tv I’ve managed to watch, though. I also caught an episode of some show where they had two teams building six-foot-tall gingerbread houses. Because they were so tall the houses were allowed to have a plywood frame but then all the decoration and whatnot had to be edible. One team built a traditional house with extremely detailed little touches and the other team went with a crazy whimsical design that was really wild. If the second team had been able to finish their design they would have won hands down, but they didn’t really execute their plan at all. Their gingerbread kept falling off the wall and cracking and they ran out of product so they had to do two walls with this weird icing stucco look. So after eight hours it was a choice between the boring but well-executed house or the wild and crazy house that didn’t get finished… hmmm… what to do… what to do…. Well you can imagine the tension was wild here at Casa d’ Hags concerning which team would walk away with the ten thousand bucks and the coveted six-foot-tall-gingerbread-house-building-smack-down-2009 trophy.

***ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT***     ***ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT***

In the end the judges chose the traditional house because it was well executed even though it was boring. Oh no… did that need a spoiler alert, too? Probably … I’ll be right back. Ok then … Well anyway the boring but quality house beat out the exciting but sucky house. It was a split decision though. Good job guys … way to provide some nail-biting tension on the tv. We appreciate it.

Our home-time hasn’t all been spent watching exciting tv though. I’ve finished a couple of home projects that I have been putting off for three years. That’s right … you heard me correctly … I’ve finished hideous home projects from hell that I have been ignoring for OVER THREE YEARS!! WooHoo for me!! Stace now thinks I’m a DIY god and scrapes and bows every time I enter or leave a room. That’s pretty cool. I may be starting to get used to it… I especially enjoy it when I enter a room and she throws her hands into the air and shouts “Hallelujah” as I walk in. Granted it would be even better if she didn’t follow that with, “Since you’re up, could you get me some Diet Coke?” but still it’s a start. I can’t help but think it won’t be long until she’s following me around throwing rose petals or something. Maybe dead leaves instead since roses are expensive and we are unemployed bums right now. Yea… I could live with dead leaves.

All that crazy adoration was par for the course when LittleOne and Chaos came to stay over Thanksgiving. Oh, I didn’t actually fling flowers at her, but I must admit that it was hard not to follow LittleOne around and clap every time she mumbled an unintelligible string of babble. Which she did a lot. She is just on the verge of real speech and I am more than ready. She was so unbelievably adorable and it was the first time we got to spend several days in a row with her. Before they came I wasn’t sure if I was up for four days of high LittleOne energy but I enjoyed every day and hated to send her home. I can’t wait til Christmas. Stace and I haven’t decorated the house for Christmas in years and years but suddenly I’m all like, “Oh and we have to get a big tree all decorated up for the baby, and maybe I’ll make a gingerbread house, and when she gets here we’ll make cookies for Santa and she can decorate them, and I wonder if she would like a pony for Christmas, and I wonder if the Rockettes ever take their Christmas show on the road….”

The family all got together for Thanksgiving over at Stace’s mom’s house and I have to say that it was the best family get-together in a long time. The whole family was there and everyone seemed to have a great time. Everybody brought some food but it was Stace’s mom that cooked the turkey and stuff and really pulled it all together. She was kinda nervous about having 17 people for the big holiday doings but she pulled it off beautifully. I know I really enjoyed the day and had a great time getting to talk to some of the family members that we don’t get to see nearly often enough.

Speaking of people we don’t get to see often… we did our own family Thanksgiving meal on Friday and our faux-son, who we’ll call Magnus, was at the house, too. That was really nice. Magnus grew up with Chaos and they have been friends forever. At some point years ago he sort of became our faux-son but we haven’t got to see much of him in the past few years. So not only was it just nice to have him at the house, but he’s also become quite a chef over the years and that’s always a plus. :)   Besides… he and Chaos did all the clean-up after our big Thanksgiving meal at home.

Who would have thought that Chaos and Magnus would do all the clean-up after a big meal? Who would have thought that such a tiny little two-year-old person could have such a big impact on my routines? Who would have thought I would ever get the house in order after three years? Who would have thought the annual Punkin Chunkin contest would provide less nail-biting tension than the gingerbread-house-building smack-down? Who would have thought I would ever even consider decorating for Christmas again?

All in all it’s just been a magical mystical time at home chocked full of wondrous rainbow and fairy moments … and I haven’t even mentioned the Wii Stace and I bought as our Christmas gift to each other. We seriously should have quit TWMNBN months ago.

3 Responses
  1. 2009 December 5
    punxxi permalink

    did ya get mariokart for yer wii? It’s sooo fun!

    • 2009 December 6

      Not yet but it is one of Stace’s must-have games. We have always loved the Mario racing games so I expect we’ll love it. Man I love flinging those bananas at Stace.

  2. 2009 December 7

    Loved the post. Wishing you girls the most lovely holiday season and the break away from the Rat Race.

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