What a difference a month makes

2010 May 23
by Hedon

Six weeks ago I was hobbling around like a ninety year old. Barely able to move. In incredible pain. I’m not sure but I may have also had a sudden growth of bushy white hair sprouting out my ears. Like I say though, that last one isn’t certain.

Anyway, I started treatment four weeks ago. When I first met with Dr. Torture, he said he thought I would be pretty much good to go after about four weeks of treatment. He also said that those four weeks weren’t going to be easy and I should prepare myself for a rough time. I figured how bad could it be?

Here’s a run down of some of the various things that have happened in the past month:

Drove in incredibly uncomfortable car to Arkansas for treatments with Dr. Torture: Nine hours

Endured incredibly irritating and painful poking, twisting and smashing treatments with Dr. Torture: Twelve hours

Thought to myself ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn’ and ‘Patience is a virtue’ and ‘The sun will come out tomorrow’ and various other ridiculous pieces of schlock that people say during hard times: 1,372 times

Thought to myself that this whole situation is bullshit and that karma can kiss my big fat ass: 1,372 times

Thought to myself how ironic it is that this only happened after I had lost 50 pounds because getting thinner is supposed to make things easier on your body: 246 times

Thought to myself that I need to quit thinking so much: 529 times

Did difficult stretches at home assigned by Dr. Torture and intended to hurry the healing process along: 18 hours

Tablets of Advil taken around the clock at four hour intervals: 720+/-

Tubes of Extra Strength Ben-Gay smeared all over the legs making it hard to breathe: 5

Resisted the urge to shove my fist through a wall out of sheer frustration: 732 times

Resisted the urge to shove my cane through the center of the tv when stupid contestants who can’t even seem to understand the rules of the most simplistic game shows end up winning $25,000 anyway: 128 times

Tried to think of something to write for a post around here that didn’t sound whiny or angry or bitter: 348 times

Succeeded: 0 times

That’s pretty much been my month. And at the end of it I can say that the pain levels have dropped drastically. Which is a good thing. A very good thing. But after all that effort I’m now hobbling around like a seventy year old. I still can’t get around worth a shit and it’s really starting to get me down. Dr. Torture seems pleased with my progress, but I am more frustrated daily. And angry. Frustrated and angry. That’s pretty much where we stand right now.

10 Responses
  1. 2010 May 23

    I advise whacking something. Not human or animal – it might whack back, or you’ll feel bad. Not something valuable you’ll have to replace. That would be bad. Something cheap that breaks up and makes a mess – well, maybe that’s a bad idea too.

    Maybe whacking something isn’t such a great idea. Hang in there, and know there are people out there in Internet Land who are rootin’ for ya!

  2. 2010 May 25
    Belledog permalink

    Thanks for update Hedon, and keep with it. Good to hear Dr. T is pleased with your progress.

    You might be much better in a few weeks and look at back at this as a useful learning experience — 0 times for the look back.

    But rooting with Jeffro for you to feel and be way better.

    Any guesstimate at all on when you and the legs might be roadworthy? Shooting for feeling 55 or 50, and not retirement age?

    Is Stace out driving during your recovery?

    Best to you both, and pats to Maggie. (The one creature who is probably relishing your prolonged recovery at home.)

  3. 2010 May 25
    chaos permalink

    Well, i just want to say, i know it will get better. And, I love you, and you can do it.
    Of course, at the same time, i know for a fact that none of these things will make you feel better. You have always been there for me, to tell me that what ever terrible thing i was dealing with would get better. I just want you to know that i love you, and that … you were right… and you will be right this time too. If you need someone to listen, feel free to call me. You have done it enough times for me. : ) Kiddo and I wish you much luck, less pain, and a quickening recovery.

  4. 2010 May 27

    frustrated and angry means there’s still alot of fight left…..and just think, at the rate you’re goin, in 3 months you’ll be 30!!!!…..hang in there….there are alot of us out here pullin for you and sending good thoughts your way….we love you guys!

  5. 2010 June 3
    limericc permalink

    Stay strong. You will overcome this. We’re all cheering for you.

  6. 2010 June 27

    How are you two doing? Just checking!

  7. 2010 July 6
    Magnus permalink

    Resisted the urge to break a computer monitor with your cane because the a/c acted up and stopped at 1:00am – 1 time.

  8. 2010 July 21
    chaos permalink

    just wanted to let anyone who still faithfully checks in know that the Hags are still alive, and doing… well (i think) so far as i have heard, they’ve been very very busy. Hopefully they will have some time to themselves again soon and will come post lots of new adventures. : ) I miss the stories. lol.

    p.s. my reCaptcha is: Vagrant two. how funny…

    wander back would you please?

  9. 2010 August 22
    MissMonky permalink

    I miss the Hags!!

  10. 2010 August 23
    chaos permalink

    me too.

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