What a difference a month makes
Six weeks ago I was hobbling around like a ninety year old. Barely able to move. In incredible pain. I’m not sure but I may have also had a sudden growth of bushy white hair sprouting out my ears. Like I say though, that last one isn’t certain.
Anyway, I started treatment four weeks ago. When I first met with Dr. Torture, he said he thought I would be pretty much good to go after about four weeks of treatment. He also said that those four weeks weren’t going to be easy and I should prepare myself for a rough time. I figured how bad could it be?
Here’s a run down of some of the various things that have happened in the past month:
Drove in incredibly uncomfortable car to Arkansas for treatments with Dr. Torture: Nine hours
Endured incredibly irritating and painful poking, twisting and smashing treatments with Dr. Torture: Twelve hours
Thought to myself ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn’ and ‘Patience is a virtue’ and ‘The sun will come out tomorrow’ and various other ridiculous pieces of schlock that people say during hard times: 1,372 times
Thought to myself that this whole situation is bullshit and that karma can kiss my big fat ass: 1,372 times
Thought to myself how ironic it is that this only happened after I had lost 50 pounds because getting thinner is supposed to make things easier on your body: 246 times
Thought to myself that I need to quit thinking so much: 529 times
Did difficult stretches at home assigned by Dr. Torture and intended to hurry the healing process along: 18 hours
Tablets of Advil taken around the clock at four hour intervals: 720+/-
Tubes of Extra Strength Ben-Gay smeared all over the legs making it hard to breathe: 5
Resisted the urge to shove my fist through a wall out of sheer frustration: 732 times
Resisted the urge to shove my cane through the center of the tv when stupid contestants who can’t even seem to understand the rules of the most simplistic game shows end up winning $25,000 anyway: 128 times
Tried to think of something to write for a post around here that didn’t sound whiny or angry or bitter: 348 times
Succeeded: 0 times
That’s pretty much been my month. And at the end of it I can say that the pain levels have dropped drastically. Which is a good thing. A very good thing. But after all that effort I’m now hobbling around like a seventy year old. I still can’t get around worth a shit and it’s really starting to get me down. Dr. Torture seems pleased with my progress, but I am more frustrated daily. And angry. Frustrated and angry. That’s pretty much where we stand right now.