Hit the Best of the Hags list to read some posts we consider slightly less pointless and rambling than usual.

And finally,  The Fernando Saga will get you up to date on the story of Fernando – the trouble-maker formerly known as Big Brain

How it all began…

Why “Highway Hags” you might ask. Well originally we wanted a domain name that included “Crone” somehow as that is a traditional derisive term for middle-aged women who don’t go out of their way to make-nice with society. But I ask you, what goes with Crone? Especially if you also want to invoke a feeling of truck driving. Cone Crones? Construction Crones? Obviously, Crones just wasn’t going to work.

So during our big “brain-storming blog meeting” (aka sitting in the living-room watching tv) Stace laughingly flung out Highway Hags. Hey! Wait just a minute! …Highway Hags… it kinda rolls around on the tongue. It has great alliteration and we’re big fans of alliteration. Highway flows with the whole truck driving angle. And as for Hags… well… honestly… we may look ok when we head out, but by the end of the month when we’re headed home after 17 or 18 thousand miles… Yeah, Highway Hags it is.

So now we’re officially the Highway Hags where as before it was just unstated opinion. Its probably a good thing I registered the domain name before I thought of ByPass Bitches. Just kidding. Mostly.

We are company drivers for a super-large-mega-important transportation firm. Our company has decided that they would rather not take advantage of all the free publicity to be gained from being mentioned prominently in drivers’ blogs, so they have issued a stern edict that no employee is to mention them in a blog under any circumstances. Hmmm. What to do. What to do. On the one hand, I really seriously hate being told what to do. On the other, I really like this big cushy truck. Fine. We work for Those-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or TWMNBN for short.

Stace: the brains of the operation

I am the devil. Oh, you wouldn’t know it to look at me. In fact, I’m practically invisible to most people. As a very fat, poorly dressed, middle-aged female, I’m mostly just glanced at and immediately dismissed as beneath contemplation. The devil walks unnoticed among you.

Lesbian, atheist, smoker, fat, middle-aged, reclusive, intelligent, free-thinker, sloppy, non-materialist, logical, unambitious underachiever. All of these labels are part of what describes me. I figure there are few people who aren’t offended in at least one way by these labels I have taken onto myself. And as if all that weren’t enough, I went and became a trucker five years ago, one of the most vilified jobs in the country. I think my claim to be the devil is not much exaggerated.

I do have good qualities. But most people aren’t too interested in those.

I’m doing this blog site with Hedon because it has recently occurred to me that as I have grown older (I’m 43), I’ve lost sight of who I was as a young person. Have I changed? How much and in what way? Some things I can recall clearly, others not so much. I have wished I had kept a journal when I was younger so I could compare notes. I decided I should keep a journal now, so that I won’t be in the same position 20 years from now, wondering what I thought when I was 40-ish.

Knowing how I am, I figure I would make a few entries and then get lazy and forget all about it (see “underachiever” above). So when Hedon suggested this blog thing, I pretty much jumped on it. I figure if we ever got an audience out there, I would be forced to keep posting (the devil has a conscience), and I’d get my journal after all.

Hedon is good at suggesting things. In fact, she’s good all around. To meet her is to love her, if she’s not in a bad mood. And she is almost never in a bad mood, unlike myself. We have known each other for 24 years, and have been a couple for 16 years. We’ve been laughing together all that time.

Hedon: the muscle of the group

People love me. I think its because I look kinda like the Pillsbury Doughboy. So maybe on some level when people see me it makes them think of fresh-baked bread. Or chocolate chip cookies. Who doesn’t like fresh bread and cookies? I do.

I also like puppies, reading, algebra, cats, purple, my big old studly XPS laptop (ok I love my XPS), diet coke, pie, and well lots of things.

I’ve been a truck driver for seven years now, but I love the concept of working to make money using my mind. So I shifted my online poker winnings over to an online brokerage and set about learning the stock market. Its going slowly, but I enjoy a challenge so that’s ok.

I wanted to do a blog because it seems like every month when we first go out interesting things happen and we comment that it will be a good story for the family when we get home. But by the time we get home not only can we not remember the interesting events, we can’t even remember where we were half the month. Hence this written record.

Oh… and my name isn’t really Hedon. “Hedon” was born online years ago and I’ve grown attached. I didn’t want y’all to think I’m hiding something and get offended. I just don’t much like my name.  Not that I really care if you’re offended. I am virtually impervious to peer pressure because I just don’t care what people think. Except for Stace. Usually.

Speaking of Stace, I got her involved in this because I knew I was more likely to keep it up if she were posting too. I’m seriously ADD so my passions tend to come and go. She’s the one passion that stuck. She is honestly the best person I’ve ever known. We’ve been together since time began and she’s made me laugh pretty much every day since. Obviously, a blog would be way more fun with Stace. Everything is way more fun with Stace. Also, she said I could write anything I wanted and didn’t have to be witty, clever, or entertaining if I didn’t feel like it.

Maggie: the eye-candy of the truck

That’s one of Maggie’s baby pictures. She’s a full-blooded Beagle we got from a couple in Arkansas. We saw this baby pic posted online and couldn’t resist her.

She’s the sweetest being you could ever meet. But she can also be a rowdy girl who would happily play about 22 hours a day. And before you ask, no we don’t ‘hunt her’ although she would probably enjoy it.

19 Responses
  1. 2008 August 30

    OMG, Stace, I’m your clone. Except I’m older and have much less truck driving experience. Always a pleasure to meet one’s true peers. A rare and wonderful treat.

    You two totally rock!

  2. 2008 August 30

    Nice to meet you, too. So this means there are at least two of us devils wandering about freely. Some evangelical xian somewhere must surely be shuddering convulsively. Heh heh heh.

  3. 2008 August 31

    I love both of your introductions here. In fact, I think I want you both to be my friend! lol I look forward to reading more about both of you and maybe one day, we can meet on the road!!


  4. 2008 September 15

    Totally stumbled in here, and instantly had to bookmark you. I mean, who wouldn’t? How often do we find anything for real on the net these days? Love the name. :)

  5. 2008 September 16
    Susan permalink

    Hi. I stumbled across your website from decorina’s website. I met her today in Golden. And she told me about her blog and I was curious. Her blog led to me to yours. Please keep blogging.

  6. 2008 September 17

    Hi Susan,

    Welcome, any friend of Decorina’s is a friend of ours. We aren’t likely to quit blogging anytime soon. We seem to have way too much to say. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not though. LOL

  7. 2008 September 23
    Michele permalink

    Hey you two. What a great blog. It makes me miss my trucking days. As I remember the Diet Coke I lol. I had my Mt Dew, I can’t remember if it was diet at that point, but we both needed our drugs of choice to start the day. Hedon, I am so glad you were my student. You were the best and most fun. xxxxoooo to you and Stace, Michele

  8. 2008 September 23

    Hey Michele!

    Glad you’re liking the Hags.

    You would know more than anyone but Stace that the truck doesn’t roll a single mile in the morning without Diet Coke.

    Just think… if you hadn’t been my trainer I might not have made it in trucking. Then what would I have to talk about here? :)

  9. 2008 October 16

    hey guys! i love the blog, i about wet my pants! so, were ya fired, or get the new truck? your audience will be waiting!!! i am on sig’s computer because i had my internet shut off, so i’ll just have to keep watch. you guys take care.

  10. 2008 October 16


    Hey girl! How are you?! Glad you’re liking the blog. Tell Sig we said hi and give The Foz a big hug from us.

    Will try to call when we get home. Take care!

  11. 2008 December 6

    found you through ‘ask and ye shall receive’. seriously, if you guys hadn’t found each other, and i wasn’t a heterosexual married chick with kids, i would kidnap you and marry you. probably both of you. so we’d have to move to utah. except that’s just for dudes who like a lot of chicks. so maybe southern california? i don’t know. but you guys are awesome.

  12. 2008 December 6

    Hey April!

    So glad you found us. I have to admit that I was blown away by the review over at “Ask and ye shall receive” — I expected a serious spanking with a leather-studded paddle.

    I think Southern California would work nicely or maybe Canada… just let us know. :)

  13. 2008 December 6

    Keep it coming ladies…this shit is gooooood! Found you through ‘Ask’ and am glad for it. Good stuff.

  14. 2008 December 7

    I came here by way of ‘Ask’ and I’ve decided I’m moving in…well, maybe not. But I’ll be visiting a lot, so how many does your bunk sleep?

    First I have to say that Maggie is just adorable. I have a Lab mix and a Shepard mix now, but used to have two Beagles; Barnum and Bailey…I miss those two. Anyhoo, I seriously have a crush on both of you now and will be peeking in through your windows on a regular basis.

  15. 2008 December 7


    Thanks! I would imagine we will keep it up since things just tend to keep spewing out our mouths… or fingertips in this case. :)


    LOL! As we are such large women… we barely fit in the bunks. But you’re more than welcome to peek in the windows all you want. Glad to have you.

  16. 2008 December 7

    ‘Snug as a bug in a rug’ is my motto. But if I can only peek in, make sure you wipe the steam from the windows first.

  17. 2009 July 20
    Chaos permalink

    Yay! stuff works again!! uh… Where are the pictures mom?

  18. 2009 July 20

    LOVE the new header pic!

    I don’t mention the company I work for due to privacy reasons but damn, that would piss me off royally to be told I couldn’t name names.

    • 2009 July 20

      Thanks! I like it too. I like Maggie on the truck door as the logo.

      Yeah… you know I probably wouldn’t have ever said who it was anyway, but as soon as I found out they would fire you for having a blog and mentioning them… well… it’s hard to resist. I’m not sure why we bother with using TWMNBN though since I have had like a dozen people e-mail me out of the blue saying “I work for TWMNBN, too, aren’t they awful….” Seems they read about some of the stupidity and immediately recognize their company. :)

      Can’t wait to quit. I’ve about decided to go back through every single post we’ve written and insert (aka realcompanyname) after every single instance where we used TWMNBN.

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